Middle school boys: an awareness campaign. Really.
Middle school boys may suffer a particular condition peculiar to adolescence – and the presence of moms. Here's one mom's awareness campaign – in all seriousness, of course.
My oldest son, Venti, suffers from a very serious condition. And if any of you have middle school boys (see note at end), they probably have it too. The purpose of this post is not to scare you but to spread awareness. I assure you that it is not simple adolescence. It is called “Whatever-itis” and is often accompanied by “I Forgot-osis” and it can be maddening if you aren’t careful.
Symptoms include but are not limited to:
- Exaggerated sighing
- Immediate opposition to anything suggested by the parental units
- Excessive eye rolling
- Shrugging his shoulders and/or saying “Whatever” in response to any/all questions posed from the parents
- Habitually forgets anything/everything in which he is not interested
- Is charming to any/all adults that are not his parents
Me: Dude, I asked you to change the trash an hour ago!
Venti: I forgooooooot.
Me: If I had asked you to text your friend, you would have remembered.
Venti: *Rolls eyes* Whatever.
Me: Did you take your shower?
Venti: I forgot.
Me: Life skill! It’s a basic life skill!
Venti: *shrugs shoulders* Whatever.
Me: *Head explodes*
And you know what else? My house always smells like feet! HIS FEET! Which, OMG, reeeeeeeeeek! Hence, the shower convo.
But I digress.
Get thee to a spa, ASAP.
Hang out in the peaceful tranquilness (totally a word) until they close and make you leave.
Have plans to meet a friend for coffee or dinner.
Hang out until they close and make you leave.
The kid should be in bed by the time you get home.
NOTE: The same may be said about middle school girls, but I wouldn’t know because of the whole boy thing going on here.
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