- Why a Saudi blogger faces a possible death sentence for three tweets
- America's big wealth gap: Is it good, bad, or irrelevant?
- Xi Jinping, future Chinese president, faces test on first White House visit (+video)
- Iran accuses Israel of setting up attacks on its own diplomats
- Valentine's Day: cost of romance rising for flower delivery, 4 other things
- No budget? No problem! The strange politics behind a budgetless America.
One man's crusade to stop the world from complaining
The Rev. Will Bowen, a minister in Kansas City, encourages people to wear a bracelet that he hopes will remind them not to grouse or gossip for 21 days.
(Page 2 of 2)
He cites Philippians 2:14, "Do everything without complaining," as biblical imperative for his movement. But his book, "A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted," intentionally incorporates very little religion.
Skip to next paragraphBowen wants the book to appeal to a wide audience and sees the movement as larger than any single church or religious denomination. Indeed, schools, which cannot get into religion, order the most bracelets. His book includes quotes from a broad range of writers and historical figures, from Aristotle to Stephen Hawking to Lily Tomlin. The movement's slogan is a quote from poet Maya Angelou: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."
Bowen's crusade draws diverse reactions from ministers and psychologists. Some see positive-thinking programs as beneficial, provided they're rooted in deeper character reforms. "In so far as a bracelet on your wrist is a tool to bring mindfulness to your daily modes of communication, I think that's wonderful," says the Rev. Canon Susan Sommer of Grace and Holy Trinity Cathedral, a big Episcopal church in Kansas City. "It's not a panacea. But in the final analysis, transformation is hard work. We want the perfect diet where we can lose 20 pounds effortlessly, without really changing our eating habits."
Others agree. "I say don't put on rose-colored glasses and refuse to look at the bad things in life, but make a special effort to cultivate a more positive spirit," says Richard Mauw, president of the Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif. "It's not healthy to be constantly complaining, constantly feeling put upon or mistreated."
Some, though, believe that venting can be constructive. "Life is hard and it's OK if you're not happy all the time," says Barbara Held, a psychology professor at Bowdoin College in Brunswick, Maine, who has written a book on "creative complaining." "I'm not against posttive thinking, and I don't question [the] Rev. Bowen's motives. What I'm against is the pressure to be the same. One size does not fit all."
• • •
At 10 a.m. on a Saturday, volunteers gather in the basement of Christ Church Unity to begin filling hundreds of orders. The bracelets are no longer free, but the fees only go for shipping. The effort survives primarily on donations: The church makes no money on the sales.
Last year, Bowen appointed Tom Alyea, a church member and management consultant, to oversee the activity. With a new ordering system in place, requests are now filled in about a week. Smaller orders are packed by a group of disabled workers through a local workshop. By noon, the dozen volunteers have finished packing 25,000 bracelets as well as dozens of T-shirts and autographed copies of Bowen's book.
Mr. Alyea has taken the 21-day challenge and made it in 4-1/2 months. A husband and father of three teens, he notices a big difference in his life. "The best thing is when we have dinner now – it's relaxing," he says. "It's fun. I'm not sitting there complaining about grades or their rooms or how fast they drive."
It took Rick Silvey, a college math professor, nearly a year to go three weeks without complaining. But, he says, it was worth it. "It's not about being a Pollyanna," he says. "It's about your approach and how you express yourself in different situations. I've seen an increase in respect and peace of mind in my relationships."
With interest increasing, Bowen is planning new initiatives – a school curriculum, a corporate seminar, a "complaint-free cruise." For now, he has no plans for any more church giveaways, like the bracelets. Naturally, few members of his church are complaining. "Frankly," Bowen says with a laugh, "it's become so huge, people in the church are joking, 'If you have anymore good ideas, keep them to yourself.' "


Previous






Become part of the Monitor community
36K on Facebook | 12K on Twitter | 2,250 on YouTube