China adoption diary: Join the odyssey to adopt Madeleine
International adoptions by Americans have dramatically dropped because of safeguards that make them more difficult to do and longer to accomplish. The Belsie family waited five years for their second adoption in China – and Mom Gretchen begins her China adoption diary here in Modern Parenthood.
During their journey to China, the Belsie family visited the Maoming Social Welfare Institute, where they adopted their first daughter, Grace, from in 2003.
Courtesy of the Belsie family
When you talk to adoptive parents, you often hear about that moment when you “know.” Some call it divine, some call it psychological – but it’s that moment of certainty when you lock on and the child is yours, no question.
Skip to next paragraph
Senior editor
Clara Germani is a senior editor for the Monitor, based in Boston. She handles in-depth projects, or cover stories, for the weekly print magazine and is the editor of the Monitor's parenting blog, "Modern Parenthood."
-
Graphic Where Americans adopted children in 2011
(Rich Clabaugh/Staff)
-
Graphic Top adopting nations
(Rich Clabaugh/Staff)
Recent posts
-
06.14.13
'You're not special' graduation speech: David McCullough spins it into a book -
06.14.13
Empty nest: Diverse paths find an American family all in China, then gone -
06.13.13
A son asks to go to temple and his mom's religious enthusiasm grows, too -
06.12.13
Boys get trucks and girls get flowers? One mom says enough with the separation -
06.07.13
Not all Seaboard communities are battling cicada infestations, but what if yours is?
-
In Pictures Around the world in 16 babies!
Subscribe Today to the Monitor
For me, that moment came quickly. In the half-light of a Pennsylvania motel room where we took our daughter the night after she was born and her birth mother handed her to me. Out of the flannel bundle in my arms, her eyes twinkled and demanded my gaze – we stared at each other, and … I knew. Mine; beyond DNA, beyond any relinquishments or court proceedings, my child.
This moment happens every day with adoptions all over the world. And, I’m here to tell you it’s the antidote to the adoption angst that media and popular psychology seem to focus on, such as infertility grief, bureaucratic tangles, and the uncertainties of timing. Most adoption goes right, just like most births go right.
And that’s what stands out to me in every adoption – the beauty of a family morphing into new and enduring shapes that bring love and, yes, the challenges that burnish that love. When Monitor business editor Laurent Belsie made the rounds of the newsroom in May with a photo of a little dark-haired girl his family was setting off to adopt in China – I knew we were all going to be fortunate witnesses.
Laurent’s newsroom rounds more typically involve his 10-year-old daughter Grace, a prodigy of poise and vocabulary (not to mention an adorable smile) who carries a basket of homemade cookies or leftover Halloween candy from desk to desk, melting hearts and deadlines. Everyone here in the newsroom has watched Grace grow since Laurent and his wife Gretchen brought her home from China in 2003.
So when many in the newsroom started receiving Gretchen’s rich and funny e-mail reports as they made their way to and across China last month, to meet and adopt their second child, Madeleine, there were suggestions that the missives be turned into a Modern Parenthood serial.
Tomorrow we join the Belsie family – all three – in Gretchen’s first blog as they fly north over the pole to the other side of the world where they would become four. The series will run for two weeks – and, I promise, it’ll be a short daily uplift for you. It’s in keeping with the Monitor’s strong coverage of adoption: See our popular long-running series on Hannah Rocklein, adopted in 1999 from Russia; and Robert Klose’s essays about his adopted Russian sons on our Home Forum page; as well as our recurring coverage of families who have taken in AIDS orphans in South Africa.
These comments are not screened before publication. Constructive debate about the above story is welcome, but personal attacks are not. Please do not post comments that are commercial in nature or that violate any copyright[s]. Comments that we regard as obscene, defamatory, or intended to incite violence will be removed. If you find a comment offensive, you may flag it.