Skip to: Content
Skip to: Site Navigation
Skip to: Search

  • Advertisements

Culture Cafe

Movie, music, and television reviews from a select group of bloggers.

'Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters' stars Jeremy Renner (r.) and Gemma Arterton (l.) as the titular siblings. (David Appleby/Paramount Pictures/AP)

'Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters': What are the reviews saying?

By Staff Writer / 01.25.13

Fairy tales are still hot commodities in Hollywood, which is undoubtedly one of the reasons behind a new film starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton, "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters." In the new spin on the story, Hansel and Gretel are all grown up and harboring a grudge against witches like the one who took them captive and was planning to eat them (seriously, fairy tales are way more grim than you remember).

The two siblings are protected from witches' curses, making them uniquely qualified to take on those who are causing problems. They work as bounty hunters who take care of witchy problems, and in this particular story, Hansel and Gretel take on a group of them led by lead witch Muriel (Famke Janssen).

"Hansel" has experienced a somewhat troubled production history, with its release date originally scheduled for March of last year. It was then moved up to earlier this month, Jan. 11, and then switched again to Jan. 25. A statement from the movie’s studio, Paramount, suggested that the second change took place to enable the movie to be released in IMAX.

“The Imax experience continues to be the most immersive and entertaining way to see films and we are thrilled to be releasing Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D now in late January so moviegoers have an opportunity to see the film in this way,” Paramount president of domestic marketing and distribution Megan Colligan told the Hollywood Reporter.

The movie was not screened for critics before its official release, and so far, the reviews that have been posted have been lukewarm.

David Voigt of Examiner.com said the movie has its entertaining moments but falls flat at other times.

"Hardly a movie that will ever run the risk of being taken with a completely straight face, this... is a film that has some fun gonzo moments appropriate with the genre, but ones that are also fairly restrained and doesn't do nearly far enough," Voigt wrote. "Heavy on the effects and the set pieces, it moves along at a fair enough pace but there are longs stretches where the film feels re-written and often drab."

The Hollywood Reporter's Stephen Farber said the movie should bring in the crowds who know they'll enjoy a campy action movie but that others won't find much to like.

"Lots of anachronisms and tongue-in-cheek dialogue establish the spoofy nature of this violent venture," he wrote. "All that’s missing is a genuine sense of wit... Despite its few wry jokes, the script is awfully thin."

Other critics were even less complimentary.

"High-concept pitch or no, the movie doesn’t really work," Roger Moore of the McClatchy-Tribune News Service wrote in a review that appeared in the Seattle Times. "Writer-director Tommy Wirkola focuses on the fights and flings all manner of viscera at the 3D camera as limbs are whacked off and heads and torsos explode. Less attention was paid to the story and the dialogue."

Leah Rozen of The Wrap called the movie "a bloody grimm mess" in her headline.

"[The movie is] a squashed-together mess that tries to cram too many different types of movies into one... The best thing one can say about the resulting film is that it's 88 minutes long and that its stars, Jeremy Renner ("The Hurt Locker") and Gemma Arterton ("Tamara Drewe"), have done and will again do far better work," she wrote.

Despite its reviews, box office pundits are predicting that "Hansel" may have a good opening weekend because of the lack of competition. Box Office Mojo writer Ray Subers predicted the film would take the number-one slot.

"The main factor here is whether or not audiences are intrigued by the premise," he wrote, citing a $15.1 million opener for the similarly-themed film "The Brothers Grimm" and $16.3 million for "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter."

'Suburgatory' star Jane Levy discusses how her character Tessa will change this season

By Tiffany VogtThe TV Addict / 01.25.13

Rolling right through its rocking second season, SUBURGATORY is deftly and comedically handling the issues of birth parents, adoptive parents and the confusion teenagers feel in the midst of such big life issues.  When Tessa Altman moved to the suburbs with her dad George, little did they suspect that life would be so colorful, rich and heartily adventuresome as it is in SUBURGATORY.  In a recent press interview, star Jane Levy candidly talked about her role and her secret celebrity crushes that she would love to have on the show.
  
So what traits that are most like you that you share with Tessa?
JANE:  Most like me, my character and I, I guess I don’t know.  It’s a hard question.  It’s like they become – you know, especially for TV — you play this character for so long that things just start to bleed and you don’t know anymore. 
  
Can you talk a bit about your character?  What’s going on with Tessa in this new season?
JANE:  Sure.  Yeah, Tessa is a Chatswinian now.  She’s no longer trying to get out.  She has embraced this as her new home.  And I think the biggest thing that goes with Tessa, especially at the beginning of season two, is she has this new interest in her mother in a way that she never did before.  She spent the summer in New York City, and she found some of her things and she’s just starting to wonder who is this person.  It was just huge.  And she meets her mom this season, and that was really a pleasure to discover, that relationship with Malin Akerman, who’s a really great actress. 

What’s Tessa’s relationship like with her mom?
JANE:  Well, I think the story is still sort of open in a way that we haven’t finished shooting the season.  I don’t even know what’s coming up next.  But there’s been two main episodes where Tessa reunites with her mother.  And it’s sort of heartbreaking in a way.  It’s hard to explain.  It’s like a huge moment, meeting a parent that you never met before, and it doesn’t mean that everything’s falling apart or everything’s coming together.  It’s almost so big that Tessa doesn’t even know how to comprehend it yet.  But what’s interesting about the way that it’s written is her mom turns out to be this person, from the audience perspective, that you like, but you understand that she’s not necessarily the best person.  You like her, but you want to hate her.  And there’s something tragic in the way where she seems like a really cool older sister but someone who had a kid and just decided to leave it but now wants to be like a groovy mom in a way.  And what’s great about it is Tessa is so mature that she’s able to see that and it hurts a little bit, but she realizes that this isn’t like her dad who’s been with her whole life; this is somebody who left her, but she doesn’t resent her. I guess it brings her and George closer together.  But I don’t really know where it’s going to go from here.  We’ve left off Christmas episode that aired last week where Tessa says, “Thanks for having me, but I’m going to go back to my dad.”
  
What about fashion trends?  Is there like a particular look that maybe your character has that you also have adopted?
JANE:  Not so much.  Tessa kind of dresses like a weirdo.  I mean, that’s what’s great about her.  She’s her own person and she has her own style and she doesn’t feel the need to dress like anyone else. But I’m so much more comfortable in mine than Dalia who has to wear crazy 6-inch heels.  Is there such a thing as 6-inch heels?
  
If you could pick a love interest for Tessa, who would you choose?
JANE:  Well, because they have to be young, obviously.  But if you ask me, my celebrity crushes, it’s like, grossly, older men. I guess that would be fun. They’re so weird. I’m, like, embarrassed to admit them.  Okay.  So one of the only TV shows that I really love is TWIN PEAKS. Kyle McLachlan plays Agent Dale Cooper, and I love Dale Cooper, so I’m in love with Kyle McLachlan.  He could be my dad, so it’s really weird.  But I don’t know. My other celebrity crushes are just... they’re just bizarre.  And one, Michael Shannon, because he’s just, like, so tall and powerful.  Who else?  Viggo Mortensen.  I mean, they’re old enough to be my dad.  It’s weird.  
  
Have you met any of them?
JANE:  Yeah, I met Kyle McLachlan.  And I couldn’t put words together. 
  
Can you just talk about that you made a horror film, “Evil Dead”?  Can you talk a little about your experience?  Are you a horror fan?  Did you watch the first movies? 
JANE:  I’m not necessarily a horror fan.  I just never really watched them that much.  I thought the script was really well written, and it was so different than what I’ve been doing on SUBURGATORY for six months that I thought it would be an awesome learning experience and a stretch for me as an actor.  And it was a really tough shoot.  My character gets tortured a whole bunch, so that’s how I was feeling.  But I’m going to see it next week, and I hope it’s good. It was filmed in New Zealand and it’s a very violent film.
  
More and more people are watching seasons of TV one home video/DVD.  Have you ever done that with a show and do you understand that appeal?
JANE:  Yeah, I love it.  I know plenty people and I’ve done it myself where you lock yourself inside for four days and you a watch a whole series.  It’s like watching a never-ending movie.  It’s great not to have to wait for the next season or the next week. I just love SEX AND THE CITY so I can watch SEX AND THE CITY until the cows come home.
  
You were named on Forbes list of 30 stars under 30 reinventing the world.  Is that crazy to you?  How does that feel?
JANE:  Yeah.  I don’t know.  It’s crazy.  I don’t know.  Flattering.
  
What can you share about SUBURGATORY’s homage to HOMELAND?
JANE: Emily, our creator, is pretty in love with it.  So she’s not making fun of it. I don’t know if you saw an episode this season early on where at the end of the episode, Dalia goes to the garage and opens the Torah praying. I don’t know what that has to do with HOMELAND, but there’s going to be a couple of those things this season, if you’re a fan of both.

Tiffany Vogt blogs at The TV Addict.

Is 'Ben and Kate' canceled? The show stars Nat Faxon (l.) and Dakota Johnson (r.). (John Shearer/Invision/AP)

'Ben and Kate' canceled? Fox takes its show off Tuesdays

By Staff Writer / 01.24.13

Is the Fox freshman comedy “Ben and Kate” gone for good?

The network announced that it’s taking “Ben” off its schedule for Tuesday nights and will be subbing in repeat episodes of another Fox comedy, “Raising Hope,” in the slot formerly occupied by “Ben.”

There are six episodes that were filmed of the show’s first season that haven’t aired yet, and Fox reportedly said the remaining episodes will find airtime at some point.

“Ben and Kate” starred Nat Faxon and Dakota Johnson as a relaxed brother and more practical sister who move in together so Ben can help take care of Kate’s young daughter.

Like another new Fox comedy on Tuesdays, “The Mindy Project,” “Ben” has struggled in the ratings all year. ABC took its Tuesday comedy “Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23,” which had similar problems with ratings, off its schedule yesterday. As with “Ben,” ABC didn’t say “Trust” was officially canceled – this year, networks have often simply taken a show off its schedule, but not said outright that the comedy or drama is done.

As Entertainment Weekly writer James Hibberd pointed out, the time slot was a good one and Fox gave the comedy all possible support.

“Given Ben and Kate‘s ratings, the move wasn’t a surprise (if anything, some were shocked the show received an order for additional episodes last fall),” Hibberd wrote. “This isn’t one of those decisions where you say, ‘The network didn’t give it a chance.’”

Tuesday’s comedy lineup across the networks is looking shaky, said New York Times writer Bill Carter.

“Comedy on Tuesday appears to be nearing complete rejection,” he wrote. “NBC’s two new series, ‘Go On’ and ‘The New Normal,’ both sank to new lows this week, even though Tuesday’s strongest network, CBS, was offering only repeats all night. Both new NBC comedies have had their ratings plunge since they were separated from the powerful lead-in of ‘The Voice.’ Their once-secure status as shows set to survive the season could now be threatened.” 

While not all of these shows have publicly gotten the axe, new shows that debuted this fall that have either been officially canceled or been taken off their network’s schedule include “666 Park Avenue,” “Last Resort,” “Partners,” “Made in Jersey,” “The Mob Doctor,” “Animal Practice,” and “Emily Owens, M.D.” (The fall season was especially hard on medical shows.)

Leonardo DiCaprio plans a break from acting after being nominated for a Golden Globe for his appearance in 'Django Unchained.' (Mario Anzuoni/Reuters)

DiCaprio plans break: Actor says he's 'worn out'

By Staff Writer / 01.23.13

Academy Award-nominated thespian Leonardo DiCaprio, who most recently appeared in the Quentin Tarantino film “Django Unchained,” told a German newspaper that he’s planning on taking “a long, long break” from acting.

“I am a bit drained," DiCaprio told German newspaper Bild. "I'm now going to take a long, long break. I've done three films in two years and I'm just worn out.” 

The actor said he wanted to concentrate on his activism in environmental causes. 

“I would like to improve the world a bit,” he said. “I will fly around the world doing good for the environment.”

DiCaprio was recently nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture for “Django,” in which he played venomous plantation owner Calvin Candie. He is slated to appear as the title character in the Baz Luhrmann adaptation of “The Great Gatsby,” which is scheduled for a May 10 release this year, and “The Wolf of Wall Street,” directed by his frequent collaborator Martin Scorsese, which is rumored to be scheduled for release near the end of 2013.

DiCaprio has been nominated for an Academy Award three times, for the films "What's Eating Gilbert Grape," "The Aviator," and "Blood Diamond," respectively.

Marcia Gay Harden will have a recurring role on 'The Newsroom,' which stars Jeff Daniels (r.) and Emily Mortimer (l.). (Melissa Moseley/HBO/AP)

Marcia Gay Harden will replace Rosemarie DeWitt on 'The Newsroom'

By Staff Writer / 01.23.13

Marcia Gay Harden will join the cast of the Aaron Sorkin HBO series “The Newsroom” after actress Rosemarie DeWitt bowed out.

Harden is replacing DeWitt in the role of Rebecca Halliday, a lawyer who works for Atlantis Cable News, the company on which the show focuses, after it’s sued for wrongful termination.

DeWitt left the show because of scheduling conflicts, according to TheWrap.com. Halliday will be a recurring character on the show.

“Newsroom” will return for its second season this June, according to Sorkin.

'Iron Man 3' will star Robert Downey Jr. (Zade Rosenthal/Marvel/AP)

'Iron Man 3' will be released internationally in IMAX in April

By Kofi OutlawScreen Rant / 01.22.13

One of the most important movie geek questions for 2013 is whether or not Marvel Studios can build on its post-Avengers momentum with this next round of solo character films, and Iron Man 3 has the distinct (honor? Challenge?) of being the first guinea pig out of the pen.

Never one to hedge their bets, Marvel Studios is taking some additional steps to make sure their flagship solo character franchise sees some good returns at the box office, by releasing the film early, exclusively in IMAX 3D.

Check the choice excerpts from the press release issued by Disney/Marvel:

IMAX Corporation and MarvelEntertainment - a division of The Walt Disney Company - today announced that Marvel’s Iron Man 3™, the latest installment of the film franchise that has grossed more than $1.2 billion at the global box office, will be digitally re-mastered into the immersive IMAX®  3D format and released to IMAX®  theaters internationally starting April 25 and domestically on May 3.

The IMAX 3D release of Marvel’s Iron Man 3 will be digitally re-mastered into the image and sound quality of The IMAX Experience®  with proprietary IMAX DMR®  (Digital Re-mastering) technology. The crystal-clear images, coupled with IMAX’s customized theatre geometry and powerful digital audio, create a unique environment that will make audiences feel as if they are in the movie. You can learn more about Marvel’s Iron Man 3 by visiting Marvel’s official site.

As noted in the release, it will only be international audiences who benefit from this April 25th IMAX release; U.S. moviegoers still have to wait until Iron Man reaches our shores on May 3rd.  For those still unaware about what the film is all about:

Marvel’s Iron Man 3 pits brash-but-brilliant industrialist Tony Stark/Iron Man against The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) an enemy whose reach knows no bounds. When Stark finds his personal world destroyed at his enemy’s hands, he embarks on a harrowing quest to find those responsible. This journey, at every turn, will test his mettle. With his back against the wall, Stark is left to survive by his own devices, relying on his ingenuity and instincts to protect those closest to him. As he fights his way back, Stark discovers the answer to the question that has secretly haunted him: does the man make the suit or does the suit make the man?

Kofi Outlaw blogs at Screen Rant.

'Fringe' cast members (from left) Jasika Nicole, John Noble, Anna Torv and Joshua Jackson all appeared on the series finale of the show. (Liane Hentscher/Fox/AP)

'Fringe' series finale: Was it a satisfying conclusion?

By Anthony OcasioScreen Rant / 01.22.13

After a season of unwanted Observer battles in a future setting, the Fringe series finale managed to deliver a truly satisfying conclusion to those who followed the series from the beginning. As it turns out, the promise of an “amazing” ending from series star John Noble may not be too far off. That is, if you’re willing to overlook a few things.

With Michael, the child Observer, in the hands of Windmark and the Observers, the true powers that the boy possesses are revealed, as Windmark is harmed while simply trying to read the mind of the anomaly. In order to save Michael from the Observers, the Fringe team decides that their only option is for Olivia to teleport to the alternate Earth. After four injections of Cortexiphan, Olivia reunites with her former (now older) self and retrieves Michael. Now with all the pieces in hand, September begins to put together the wormhole device, while Walter inadvertently reveals to Peter what will unfortunately happen if the plan is successful. As the Observers attempt to retrieve the boy, Broyles’ allegiance to the Fringe team is revealed, and September must ask a favor of an old friend.

Although the Fringe series finale was largely driven by the season 5 Observer storyline, which was essentially rooted in a standalone episode from last season, the amount of depth and range the two-hour finale presented for its characters, and their story, was refreshing and unexpected – at least to anyone who stood by the entirety of season 5. Not only does the finale bring back many familiar elements from past seasons, but it does so in a way which makes you wonder why, if the capabilities of exceptional quality were always there, they weren’t more apparent – or made use of – before the final hours of the series.

Notwithstanding a few select episodes, Fringe season 5 was a mixed bag of Observer-driven stories, many of which were used more as fetch quest time fillers than as any true progression of the overall plot. And even though the series finale of Fringe was essentially dedicated to the current seasonal story-arc, the resulting sentimentality speaks as much to the entirety of the series as it does a proverbial book-end to the Observer storyline that fans were continuously wary of.

After jumps in to and out of the alternate world, Fringe somehow recaptured – if just for its final episodes – the magic that initially drew fans to the series so many years ago. A magic that was, as some would say, somewhat misplaced when the series jumped 13 years into the future for its final chapter. As the finale entered its second hour, the pieces needed to defeat the Observers were quickly acquired, leaving ample time to give fans what they truly wanted to see from Fringe: the goodbyes.

Despite this season of Fringe being driven by the Observer invasion, enough time was committed to allow each of the characters their own moment to shine, whether it be heroically or tragically, before Water finally atoned for all the stolen moments he shared with Peter and reset time, which reset Peter, Olivia and Etta back in the park where the invasion began. This time the Observers never came.

Although Walter never did forgive himself for kidnapping his son from the alternate world, his references to the “stolen moments” he had with Peter revealed that, even though Walter probably shouldn’t have crossed over all those years ago, he cherished every one of them, and he was willing to sacrifice himself in order to make things right for the world – and for Peter. The only question is whether or not by this point, the highly-suspenseful, action-packed finale engaged the viewer to such a level where earlier seasonal contrivances simply washed away – to allow Fringe, the little series that could, to give the impassioned conclusion they’re able to tell. Even if it may not be the one they wanted to from the beginning.

As with any television series, it’s more about the journey than it is the end result. Most shows never get the chance to say goodbye. Thanks to its fans, Fringe had two. So while a jump to the future to battle elite humans may not have been the most ideal adventure, the series still managed to, at times, provide audiences with an exceptional and emotional tale of scientific wonderment. As always, this is where Fringe is at its strongest. Not with Observer battles or high-tech weapons, but with one man’s love and curiosity about the strange and unknown. So it’s befitting that, once again, he used his abilities to save his son, the boy who should not have lived.

Anthony Ocasio blogs at Screen Rant.

Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in 'The Last Stand.' (Merrick Morton/Lionsgate/AP)

Arnold Schwarzenegger's 'The Last Stand' is formulaic but a fun action film

By Ben KendrickScreen Rant / 01.18.13

After nearly a decade since he headlined Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Arnold Schwarzenegger is back with a starring role in The Last Stand. During his time as California governor, the actor enjoyed only a brief cameo appearance in The Expendables – a role that was later expanded in its sequel, The Expendables 2.

Korean director Kim Ji-woon was tasked with reintroducing the iconic action star (now ten years older) to the leading man spotlight. An especially fitting challenge, given that the primary character in his new film left Los Angeles to live his peaceful golden years in small town New Mexico. Does The Last Stand prove that Schwarzenegger still has what it takes to be a worthwhile Hollywood leading man that can kick butt and spout memorable one-liners?

While some movie fans might have written-off The Last Stand after seeing a generic middle-of-the-road trailer, the final film provides plenty of crowd-pleasing scenes, exciting set-pieces, and an extremely enjoyable performance from Schwarzenegger. In fact, not only does the aging actor hold is own when going toe-to-toe with bad guys, he also wholly embraces his Hollywood persona, which will further endear viewers to the quirks of his character. Out of context, the gags could be mistaken for a film that tries too hard, but scene-to-scene, even the campiest moments are worthy of a solid laugh. Nitpickers will have an easy time challenging plot holes and logistics, but The Last Stand is unrepentant in its action-western ambition – and delivers where it really counts.

The core storyline is pretty straightforward – starting with the bloody liberation of sadistic drug cartel head Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) from federal custody. Instead of attempting a quiet disappearance via private jet or a low-key border crossing, Cortez hops into the driver’s seat of a modified Chevrolet Corvette C6 ZR1 for a mad (and violent) dash to Mexico. Unfortunately for Cortez, his flight from the law is set to take him through the local farming community of Sommerton Junction, and into the path of LAPD Tactical Forces Officer-turned-small town Sheriff, Ray Owens (Arnold Schwarzenegger). As FBI agent John Bannister (Forest Whitaker) races to catchup with Cortez, Owens and his deputies – along with the help of local weirdo/gun enthusiast, Lewis Dinkum (Johnny Knoxville) – scramble to stop the drug lord and his team of mercenaries from escaping across the Mexican border.

The Last Stand‘s setup is unapologetically formulaic, and as mentioned before, filled with plot holes that require a hefty dose of disbelief suspending. Any attempts to fill-out the relatively straightforward plot – supporting character arcs, villainous exposition, or an underdeveloped twist – speed past without consequence and occasionally distract from the pacing in the core storyline. The film doesn’t bother with deep or insightful drama; however, The Last Stand presents enough charming characters, clever filmmaking choices, and downright entertaining (sometimes gory) action set pieces for an enjoyable experience. The third act, especially, is full of crowd-pleasing shootouts and brawls that provide just as many surprises and humorous one-liners as there are bullet holes.

Part of the success is owed to a smart mix of side characters – both supporting roles and townsfolk bit parts. Onscreen, Noriega’s Cortez – coupled with that super-powered car – serves as a competent ‘force of nature’ antagonist, even if his overall character is relatively standard. Furthermore, the assembled Sommerton Junction force of Mike Figuerola (Luis Guzmán) and Sarah Torrance (Jaimie Alexander) - along with drunkard war veteran Frank Martinez (Rodrigo Santoro) – provides a good counter-balance to Schwarzenegger’s grumpy-but-honorable sheriff. Enjoying second-billing in the film’s marketing, Knoxville’s role as Dinkum isn’t that big, but his performance provides some of the more humorous moments. On its own, the sheer elation on Dinkum’s face while feeding bullets into a mini-gun is bound to help win-over at least a few cynics.

Still there, would be no Last Stand without Schwarzenegger’s larger-than-life persona. Despite a few scenes of overly-sentimental dialogue, where the action star comes across as a bit stiff, Schwarzenegger carries the film. It’s not a career-changing performance, since Owens is mostly an aged riff on characters we’ve seen the actor portray in the past. Nevertheless, he’s the perfect protagonist for the situation depicted in the film. It’s clear that to help separate Owens from the list of memorable Schwarzenegger roles, the actor plays the character to his strengths – even incorporating some interesting self-referential banter about his history with Los Angeles. Instead of distancing this movie from his public persona, Schwarzenegger smartly embraces it – especially when the action ramps up.

A few set pieces of vehicular manslaughter keep the plot moving for the first half of the film and some viewers will likely find the overarching plot to be stretched too thin upfront. However, the second half of the movie provides one explosive setup after another – making smart use of main street Sommertown Junction and surrounding areas. Most notably, a sequence about two-thirds of the way through ups the ante – providing a quick succession of crowd-pleasing moments that lead into a slick (albeit campy) finale.

Director Kim Ji-woon finds a solid balance between cheese and stylized action with his American debut – while making smart use of a likable and quirky roster of characters. Ultimately, The Last Stand is a fun throwback to the days of formulaic but immensely entertaining Schwarzenegger-led films. After the actor’s ten year hiatus, the gamble pays off this round, but with a healthy does of in-development action roles ahead of him, audiences may be less excited about similar performances down the line. Yet, for now at least, watching Schwarzenegger fire shotguns and body slam bad guys is as enjoyable as ever.

Ben Kendrick blogs at Screen Rant.

A 'S.H.I.E.L.D.' TV show is supposed to feature the return of fan favorite Agent Coulson. How will he be brought back? (Matt Sayles/AP)

'S.H.I.E.L.D.' TV show: How fan favorite Coulson could return

By Scott StouteScreen Rant / 01.17.13

There has been plenty of speculation regarding the upcoming Joss Whedon S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series – specifically in regards to the show’s plot and whether or not well-known comic book characters will make an appearance; not to mention the question of how the series will be linked to the Marvel movie universe.

While Marvel has previously stated that the pilot will be part of their “Phase II” storyline, they have now officially confirmed the that series will take place after the Avengers movie timeline – but will consist of its own self-contained stories.

In a recent interview with IGN, ABC President Paul Lee had this to say about S.H.I.E.L.D.’s place in the Marvel Universe:

“There is no question that it is part of the Marvel Universe. In fact, the story takes place after the battle for New York.This is S.H.I.E.L.D. They’re following their own particular stories. There are characters in it, Coulson, who clearly come from Avengers. So it’s part of the world, but we’re going to be very, very careful that we don’t tread on the toes of the features and build a whole new world. And that’s what Joss Whedon does better than anybody else. He’s built a world for us.”

That being said, the real question on fans minds is this: If the S.H.I.E.L.D. pilot takes place after the Avengers and deceased fan-fav Agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) is set to return, how will the character be resurrected?

Bringing Back Coulson: How It Could Be Done

With all the options of bringing a character back to life Hollywood and comics have to offer, we took the time to compile a list of the most-likely options ABC or Whedon might use for Coulson: 

Flashbacks: Possible, but it would kind of defeat the purpose of having the series take place “after the Avengers.” The flashback idea also lacks the token Joss Whedon flare for the obviously complicated, but we’ll see.

A Ghost \ Helpful Sprit: Ummm, seems a bit unlikely (or at least we’re really hoping it is), despite Joss Whedon’s penchant for the supernatural and Marvel’s use of spirits in the past. The idea may sound cheesy at first (mostly because it is), but perhaps under the creative eye of Whedon it might actually work. Come to think of it, a ghost would make an excellent spy.

A Deathlok: Zombies are totally “in” right now, and a Zombie Cyborg is definitely a step up. Deathloks are dead soldiers\agents reanimated with future technology by the US government (or S.H.I.E.L.D.) to serve as the perfect military operative. The downside to a Deathlok operative is that they often end up at odds with their organic and cybernetic brains, which usually resorts in the Deathlok going crazy and turning on its masters.

Life Model Decoys and Other Various Types of Robot: Marvel and Whedon LOVE robots (just ask the Vision and the BuffyBot) but the favorite of S.H.I.E.L.D. brass is the Life Model Decoy. LMDs are androids designed to function as an exact body double of the humans they’re based on.

The near-flawless mimicry of their subject’s outer appearance  - i.e., fingerprints, hair, skin, retina patterns, speech patterns, scent, body language and thought patterns – have even fooled the acute senses of Wolverine and high-level telepaths. Apart from any invasive medical examination or strong EMP, LMDs are indistinguishable from the original.

(PS: We’re also including a living computer based on Coulson’s brain patterns in with the “robot” category.)

Cloning: To say Marvel loves a good cloning would be an understatement, in fact you haven’t made it as a superhero unless some villain has tried to clone you for nefarious purposes. While LMDs maybe S.H.I.E.L.D.’s go to, clones also play a big part within the organization. The real question of cloning Coulson will be if he’s aware of his duplicate nature and if not how will he react when he finds out.

Mystical Resurrection: We all hate to lose a fantastic employee and S.H.I.E.L.D. is no different. Bringing characters back from the dead is a staple of Marvel comics (*cough* Jean Grey) and S.H.I.E.L.D. has numerous sorcerers on the payroll. The Hand, an order of evil mystical ninjas and longtime adversaries of S.H.I.E.L.D frequently use resurrection to replenish their ranks and have been known to use former superheroes and S.H.I.E.L.D agents including Elektra and Northstar. Perhaps S.H.I.E.L.D’s first TV mission will be to recover Coulson’s body from the Hand’s wicked clutches?

Never Died: Most Likely. Nick Fury has shown he is a man of action no matter what he must do, and faking a man’s death to manipulate a group of super-powered narcissists into playing nice is not above him. Sure, we saw Coulson take the pointy end of Loki’s staff to the gut, but that doesn’t mean he died before making it to the top medical facilities of S.H.I.E.L.D. – or perhaps an unsuspecting Life Model Decoy took that “Red Shirt” hit in place of the real Coulson.

Alien Technology: Why strain your brain about the Coulson issue when there’s perfectly good deus ex machina staring you in the face? The Avengers fought alien hordes of The Chitauri over NYC, and the Marvel One-Shot short film “Item 47″ already chronicled S.H.I.E.L.D.’s collection and cataloging of all the Chitauri technology leftover after the battle; who’s to say they didn’t discover tech that could bring Coulson back to the land of the living?

Scott Stoute blogs at Screen Rant.

Rachel Bilson drops by 'How I Met Your Mother' and offers an important clue for viewers

By Staff Writer / 01.16.13

The newest episode of the CBS sitcomHow I Met Your Mother” featured a guest turn by actress Rachel Bilson, who appeared at the end of the episode to offer an important clue about the identity of the titular mother.

The central mystery of the show has long been who narrator Ted ends up marrying – the show is structured as if Ted is telling the story to his children many years in the future. In the past, audience members had learned that the woman that becomes the mother of Ted’s children was at one point the roommate of Rachel Bilson’s character Cindy.

At the end of the newest episode, Ted (Josh Radnor) was on the subway and complaining to Cindy that the band for his friends’ wedding had fallen through and they needed someone immediately.

“Do you believe in destiny?” Cindy’s wife asked immediately.

Cindy told Ted that her former roommate was the bass player for a wedding band that would happily play for free. The show then cut to Ted at his friends Robin and Barney’s wedding, looking at the band playing, while narrator Bob Saget, who voices Ted when he is older, said that the wedding was where he had met his wife.

Bilson first guest starred on the show as a woman who briefly dated Ted and last appeared during its sixth season, when Cindy and Ted ran into each other and Cindy told Ted there were no hard feelings between them. Bilson currently stars on the CW show “Hart of Dixie.”

  • Weekly review of global news and ideas
  • Balanced, insightful and trustworthy
  • Subscribe in print or digital

Special Offer

 

Editors' picks:

Doing Good

 

What happens when ordinary people decide to pay it forward? Extraordinary change...

Scott Budnick works in the dining room as customers arrive for a free meal at the Mathewson Street Friendship Breakfast in Providence, R.I.

Scott Budnick serves breakfast – with a side order of respect – to the homeless

Sunday breakfast at a Providence, R.I., church is more than a free meal. Half the volunteers are homeless themselves: 'It's their [own] breakfast that they're putting on.'

 
 
Become a fan! Follow us! Google+ YouTube See our feeds!