Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
Sheryl Sandberg's new book is a lightning rod for controversy. Will it be a catalyst for change?
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The pay gap itself can be justification for a woman to quit, or settle for a mid-level position, even if her husband might prefer to take on the at-home duties. Men are more likely to be mentored and sponsored by both male and female leaders. US childcare and parental leave policies are ridiculously old-fashioned. Men are more likely to be evaluated on future potential, while women are evaluated on past accomplishments. Sandberg spotlights a study, which distributed identical resumes, the only difference being the name: one version was for “Heidi,” the other, “Howard.” While both were viewed as equally competent, Howard was liked, while Heidi was seen as “selfish” and not “the type of person you would want to hire or work for.” Success and likeability go hand-in-hand for men; if a woman is successful, both men and women like her less.Skip to next paragraph
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These systemic barriers lead to the internalization of powerlessness that Sandberg addresses. Women see the glass ceiling, hear about the impossibility of “having it all,” and then expect less from themselves, second-guessing their skills. They opt out of positions of influence while doing more than their share of work in the home. “We compromise our career goals to make room for partners and children who many not even exist yet,” Sandberg writes.
"Lean In" serves as a kind of philosophical and practical toolkit for women with ambitions of all kinds, and an education and inspiration for men who are aware that their workplaces and home lives are diminished when women are only a fraction of who they can be. Sandberg offers women dictums that sound simplistic – “sit at the table,” “don’t leave before you leave,” – but have radical consequences. Her prose, tautly shaped in partnership with Nell Scovell, is data-driven, but accessible, brocaded with personal anecdotes that provide insight while never implying that Sandberg’s exceptional career is the exact template for all of us to follow. She’s also generous in citing the ideas of feminists and female leaders – Gloria Steinem, Jessica Valenti, Leymah Gbowee – and she does so without pretension, embodying the collective voices necessary to create a more just world. "Lean In" is a terrific book.
It is not, however, all things to all women. Many working women have good reason to feel unsafe about asking for more. Sandberg, anticipating critics, acknowledges the class issues at play, noting that, “the vast majority of women are struggling to make ends meet and take care of their families,” and that parts of her book are most relevant to women in a position to make choices, while other parts are relevant to all kinds of workplaces and homes.
Sandberg also sidesteps the question of the ways that the “have it all” myth impacts women who are not mothers and married. Women who are single and without kids also struggle to balance their personal and professional lives, though in different ways, and their challenges merit exploration. But single women are offered only an anecdotal nod in chapters like “Make Your Partner a Real Partner.” The absence inadvertently affirms the narrow assumptions in the “have it all myth” – that working women are married, about to be married, or else, their work/life balance challenges are of no significance.
Sandberg describes writing this book as her own act of leaning in – moving out of her professional comfort zone. I believe her. To her critics who feel that there is more to the story about women and work: They’re right. I hope they write other good books. In true "Lean In" spirit, one token leading voice is not enough. We need a critical mass in the conversation, collectively overhauling the idea of what’s possible in the lives of women.
The stakes are too high to stay quiet and abide the status quo. We risking limiting yet another generation if we stay silent.
– Anna Clark is a contributor to The Christian Science Monitor