Civil War Wives
The lives of three prominent Civil War-era women illustrate the drama that took place off the battlefield.
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Born in 1826, Varina Howell supported her family’s slaveholding rights, her Southern roots, and eventually her role as First Lady of the Confederacy after marrying Jefferson Davis. She had a powerful intellect, but casually regarded slavery as “a benign institution.” Although marriage had silenced Weld’s voice as an activist, it ignited Davis’s willful streak, and her husband’s family criticized her “unfeminine insistence on independent judgment.”Skip to next paragraph
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Her husband demanded obedience, yet Davis resisted the suppression of her will; she secretly kept her own money, for instance, and offered her husband unsolicited advice on political matters. And it was her brave and relentless fight that ultimately won his post-war prison release. As Berkin writes, her story illustrates how “women’s ingenuity, determination, and talents were, and often continue to be, viewed as latent resources, to be restrained in times of stability and called upon in times of crisis and exigency.”
Julia Dent was born the same year as Varina, and similarly accepted slavery as “too much a part of the natural order to be questioned.” She had little interest in education and was the most conservative of the three women, wholly embracing her marriage to Union General (and later ignominious US President) Ulysses S. Grant. To her, the notion that men and women ought to occupy separate realms was comforting. Yet her boldness took the form of marrying a man with no wealth (frowned upon for a woman of her class), and remaining a serene, loving wife and mother even as she endured severe tumult – including her husband’s bouts of spectacular financial ruin. After becoming a widow, Julia found her voice (and assertiveness) as a memoirist, although her book remained unpublished until 1975.
It’s true that Weld and Davis were far more introspective, ambivalent, and even defiant in their domestic roles than Grant (who actually befriended Davis late in life). Yet Berkin’s sympathetic portraits of all three women, living in the midst of tremendous political and social upheaval, offer not only a window into the past, but a mirror held up to contemporary society: even in our so-called post-feminist era, the notion of womanhood can seem every bit as complex and contradictory as it was in the 19th century.
A fascinating and lively narrative, informed by rigorous scholarship, “Civil War Wives” reminds us that even as the epic war was fought on the battlefield, these women often waged interior battles that proved no less gripping and painful.