'Holiday' doesn't need to mean 'perfect'

Sometimes the best traditions come out of simple surprises.

By Marilyn Gardner | Columnist

from the December 19, 2007 edition

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While visions of sugarplums are supposedly dancing in children's heads this week, their parents are entertaining far more complicated dreams. For them, the holiday goal involves nothing less than the desire to give their families a perfect Christmas.

Early in December, all things seem possible to well-meaning adults – otherwise known as mothers – as they draw up lists of gifts to buy, decorations to make, cookies to bake, and feasts to prepare.

Those hopes and expectations are ratcheted up by advertisers and editors of women's magazines who sprinkle December headlines and articles with three sneaky little adjectives that can add up to big trouble for anyone who takes them seriously. Holiday planners, beware of these words: perfect, easy, and fast.

Consider a sampling of cover stories shouting for attention from this month's magazine racks:

"Finding the perfect tree"

"Fast & fabulous centerpieces"

"Easy holiday baking"

"1-hour decorations"

"Perfect gifts under $50"

Add to those the dozens of other articles urging readers to make elegant wrappings, festive crafts, "yummy" recipes, and beautiful wreaths – all in the name of creating new traditions – and the result is clear: Creating a "perfect" holiday is a seasonal full-time job, often incompatible with the regular full-time jobs many holiday celebrants already hold.

No wonder a new survey claims that women are more likely than men to report heightened levels of stress during the holiday season. Women are also less likely to take time to relax, says the American Psychological Association.

As wives and mothers, we could learn a few lessons from the men in our lives. They often take a far more relaxed and forgiving approach to the holidays. So the tree is a little crooked at the top and a bit sparse on the left side? Not to worry, they say. Who will really notice after it's decorated? The toy store was out of a young child's most hoped-for present? Relax, the men in the family say. It'll come in due season – a postholiday treat. And the Christmas turkey was overcooked? Ah, but that steamed pudding was one of the best ever, they reassure us.

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