Domestic violence survivors move out of abusive relationships and into school
A Boston-area initiative helps women gain the skills they need to become financially self-reliant and free from their abusers.
Under the thumb of an abusive husband, it's not easy to take college courses. Susan tried. But when she sat down to study, her husband would complain that she wasn't making supper. He controlled access to their car, their cellphone, their money.
A friend who had been through it herself recognized patterns of abuse and urged Susan to seek help. With support from a community center for domestic violence survivors, she moved out last year with her son and daughter.
Within a month, the center had helped her enroll at the Chelsea, Mass., campus of Bunker Hill Community College. Through a groundbreaking partnership between the college and HarborCOV (Communities Overcoming Violence), Susan received a grant covering tuition for one course, child care, and books. And she instantly joined a supportive network of counselors and fellow students breaking free from abusive relationships. (She agreed to tell her story to the Monitor on the condition that her real name be withheld.)
The need for additional education "is one of the significant common issues for survivors [of abuse]," says Rita Smith, executive director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Often they have to master new skills to earn higher incomes and support children without a partner; they may be immigrants with college degrees but not enough English skills to obtain credentials in the United States; or their attempts to further their education may have been sabotaged.
The partnership – the Chelsea Community Education and Support Initiative – also signifies a renewed effort at many community colleges to boost retention rates by offering students more support. Help in coping with nonacademic responsibilities such as work and family is one area identified as needing improvement by the Community College Survey of Student Engagement, conducted annually by the University of Texas, Austin. In 2006, 24 percent of students said their college did well in this area, while 43 percent said their college did very little.
Ms. Smith hopes to see more such partnerships emerge. "It can reduce a huge number of obstacles," she says. "The more resources we can bring in from the community, the more likely it is that [survivors] are going to be able to end the violence."
For Susan, moving out on her own was a huge relief – "just knowing that [my ex-husband] had no control over whether or not I got an education.... Being able to sit down and do [homework] without anybody bothering me, it was good." To be a teacher at a day-care center, an associate's degree will eventually be a job requirement, and she'd like to get even more schooling so she can run her own center someday.
She pulls out a folder of homework that's covered with loving messages from her 8-year-old daughter. With a smile of quiet pride, she describes how her kids sit at a small red table next to her computer so they can all do homework together. "I like them seeing that I have good study habits."
HarborCOV helps 300 people a year with emergency shelter, but about 3,000 people from the immigrant-rich community near Boston seek counseling, transitional housing, child care, and other services in the wake of domestic violence.
In a survey two years ago, 35 percent said they wanted to continue their education, but they needed financial and other types of assistance, says Analia Lemmo, HarborCOV's economic development coordinator. Child care for evening courses is difficult to find, and financial aid often doesn't cover classes for English as a second language, she says. "The other barrier has to do with self-esteem.... People that have gone through domestic violence and abuse, they usually have doubts about their own capacity.... They need to sometimes have reassurance that they can do this."
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Education help from the Sunshine Lady
The Sunshine Lady Foundation in Wilmington, N.C., has helped more than 1,600 survivors of domestic violence pursue their educational goals – whether it's a bachelor's degree or a cosmetology license.
Philanthropist Doris Buffett's foundation launched the Women's Independence Scholarship Program in 1999, after a domestic-violence conference opened her eyes to how crucial education was to women's efforts to support themselves and not return to abusive relationships.
"Once we take away that pressure of 'I can't pay my child care' or 'I'm driving a junker and don't know if I'll get to work next week' ... that really frees them up to focus on school, to get those skills that they need to move ahead with their life," says Nancy Soward, director of the scholarship program.
Applicants, referred by advocacy groups from all over the United States, receive an average of $2,000 per school term. The foundation tries to continue the support until they reach their goal.
"It was really a godsend that this foundation chose me and gave me the opportunity to make my life completely different," says Renée, who asked that her last name not be used. She lived through years of misery before she finally fled her husband when he tried to kill her, she says, and then she moved more than a dozen times for her safety.
Physical ailments kept her from her work in landscaping and design, and she wanted to pursue a master's degree so she could teach. To her surprise, the foundation supported her for three years, even though she changed programs partway through.
"They really believed in me and they stuck with me when I was going through a lot of hard times and really figuring this out," Renée says. Because of the psychological aspect of abuse, "you lose faith in yourself.... Every quarter I wrote a letter to the Sunshine Lady [Ms. Buffett] telling her how I was doing and I could never express enough thanks to her for being someone that knew all about me and yet had complete faith in me."
Renée worked hard to make the most of the gift, earning a 4.0 grade point average, she says. But she also applied her work ethic to healing her emotions.
"If you stay fearful the rest of your life, then in my book, the abuser is still winning," she says. "The ultimate freedom is to completely take charge of your life and move in another direction."
Now the foundation is training its eye on the generational aspects of abuse and helping scholarship alumni fund their children's education through the Change Your World Scholarship. "The kids are also survivors," Ms. Soward says.
