Wedding bells without the bills

For many couples, adding up the costs of walking down the aisle can be a bit like a trip to the Emerald City: cakes and flowers and dresses, oh my!

Add in some of the hidden costs of saying "I do" ($200 to hem a gown, for example), and suddenly even the most budget-conscious couples can feel like cowardly lions.

But at a time when the average cost of a wedding is $20,000 to $25,000, some brides and grooms are throwing spiffy affairs for just a few thousand dollars - and making sure their dollars go further, whatever their budget.

Instead of fancy hotel receptions, they're opting for backyards; instead of designer dresses, they're buying from J. Crew - or on eBay. They're choosing offbeat times for their nuptials. And some 10 percent of couples annually are choosing destination weddings - saying their "I dos" in Mexico, for example - as a way to simplify the decisions, cut the guest list, and save a few bucks.

Even people staying within 10 miles of home are finding avenues for keeping their costs down. Nina Willdorf, a recent bride and author of "Wedding Chic: The Savvy Bride's Guide to Getting More While Spending Less," encourages couples not to let the industry dictate their plans. "Decide what to spend and then have that determine what you want to do," she suggests. "Whether it's $5,000 or $50,000 ... whatever you have, you can do something really nice."

One of the main places couples try to save money is the reception - both the location and what's served. Fifty percent of a wedding budget typically goes to the reception, the cost of which is often calculated per person. That means the first step to saving money is often to trim the guest list.

"The best way is to cut, cut, cut," says Kathleen Murray, weddings editor for The Knot website (www.theknot.com) and magazine. "Definitely try to shave it down to close friends, family," people who are important to you.

That's what Patricia Froelich, a Florida bride-to-be, has done for her coming November wedding. About 75 of the couple's closest friends and family will be invited. She opted for a sit-down meal at a hotel, which to her surprise turned out to be cheaper than serving people buffet-style in the same setting. (The reason, Ms. Willdorf explains in her book, is that caterers have to buy more food for a buffet than they would for a sit-down meal where everyone is eating basically the same thing.)

Time of year can also make a difference. May through October is wedding season, so experts suggest holding the event in other months - or at off times, such as Friday or Sunday nights - when locations are typically less busy and therefore less expensive.

Choosing a nontraditional venue for the wedding can help, too. Last September Aliza Sherman Risdahl got married in the garden of a Victorian mansion in Laramie, Wyo. A nonprofit museum, it asked only for a donation for using the space. The reception was in a local restaurant, where the room came free when the appetizers, meals, and drinks were paid for (guests were asked to purchase their own alcohol).

The bride was budget-conscious from the start. "I want to buy a house, I want to start a family, I do not want to be in debt over my wedding, and I don't want my family to be in debt over my wedding," says Ms. Sherman Risdahl of her approach.

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