Bill Clinton was on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Wednesday night and engaged in an interesting discussion that was rather wide-ranging for an ex-president. For instance, he talked about aliens. No, not illegal immigrants: He meant space aliens, as in possibly green things with long fingers, and maybe ovoid heads and glowing eyes.
President Clinton told Mr. Kimmel that around an anniversary of an alleged alien sighting in Roswell, N.M., he’d asked aides to investigate what actually occurred at secret sites in the area.
“First, I had people go look at the records on Area 51 to make sure there was no alien down there,” Clinton said.
We hasten to add that he did not say he was expecting to find some kind of smoking gun, as it were. As president, he knew there was a lot of secret military testing in the area that may have stoked the rumors.
Nobody found anything in Roswell, so the administration was prepared to answer the deluge of inquiries it got on the incident anniversary. But Clinton, being the speculative sort, did not end the discussion there. He mused that aliens might exist, even if the US government does not have them in its custody, stored in a secret warehouse next to the lost Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail.
“Just in the last two years, more than 20 planets have been identified outside our solar system that seem to be far enough away from their sun and dense enough that they might be able to support some form of life. So it makes it increasingly less likely that we’re alone,” said Clinton.
He joked that when the aliens come, he just hopes it won’t be like the movie “Independence Day,” where the White House gets blown up. Kimmel joked that in that event, Clinton and Bill O’Reilly would be sharing a bunker together. Now there’s a great premise for a buddy action movie!
Clinton also talked about the need for more people to vote in midterm elections. And he said that he had no idea whether his wife will run for president in 2016, but that he won’t be running for vice president. So the appearance wasn’t all fun and “E.T.” nostalgia.
But his admission that, as chief executive, he’d actually investigated this subject makes you wonder: What else did he look into?
I mean, you’re the leader of what used to be called the Free World. You are cloaked in immense power, according to Steven Spielberg’s version of Abraham Lincoln. You can look into anything.
Elvis. Come on, if Clinton asked about aliens, it’s likely that he also asked if Elvis Presley is still alive. We wish Kimmel had asked about that. In fact, maybe the aliens are really stored in Graceland and The King is living in Roswell.
JFK. Clinton probably knows the real story about the CIA, the Mafia, LBJ, RFK, the Soviets, and Castro, and how they conspired with the Queen to kill John F. Kennedy, because he was going to de-escalate the secret war on aliens. That would have been a great discussion.
Hitler. Another lost opportunity. Kimmel should have asked if Clinton had aides track Adolf Hitler to his alleged Bolivian hide-out. Then, whether the president of the United States and House Speaker Newt Gingrich choppered in and personally arrested the Führer.
And the Clinton-era government shutdown? That was part of the Hitler mission coverup.