“Mindy Kaling embodies the trifecta of being brilliant, wonderful and hilarious. Because that is statistically impossible, it can mean only one thing: she was created by an evil scientist to lull us into a giddy stupor in order to control our minds. How else can you explain someone who simultaneously commands respect and affection? Someone so acutely adept at creating her own opportunities?"
Ed Helms, I completely agree. This is why I devised a list of why Mindy and I should be friends.
1. I share Mindy’s fear of missing out that she talks about in her book “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns).” To prevent both of us from ever having this fear again, we could just hang out all the time without worry of other people hanging out without us.
2. We could (pretend to) go to the gym together. In her book, Mindy writes: "If it weren't for my imagination, I would weigh ten thousand pounds. This is because the only way I am able to exercise anymore is through a long and vivid revenge fantasy." Some people spend a lot of time at the gym, and that’s fine, but why not just pretend you went sometimes?
3. I could be the new addition to Subtle Sexuality with Mindy’s “The Office” persona Kelly Kapoor and Erin Hannon, played by actress Ellie Kemper. I have some great Zumba moves that I could contribute to the music videos.
4. We could exchange embarrassing baby photos. I’ve seen the picture on the back of the book of Mindy with a bowl cut, glasses and a puppet. My baby photos are equally – if not more – embarrassing than Mindy’s. Bowl cut, chubby cheeks, squinty eyes – I looked like a little Persian boy in a dress.
5. We could eat the Mindy Kaling” burger at Mr. Bartley’s in Harvard Square. Mindy loves Boston and so do I. Plus the items on this burger are pretty mouthwatering – provolone cheese, grilled peppers and a side of sweet potato fries. Yes, please.
So Mindy, if you’re reading this, call me maybe?
Saba Hamedy is a Monitor contributor.