Who’s to blame?
That’s the question that frequently emerges right away when a wrong or upsetting circumstance occurs. Is there a way to get out of the dark spiral of blaming – or of being blamed?
Of course, wrong actions and mistakes have to be recognized and corrected, and some kind of restitution might need to be given if it is warranted. But an atmosphere of blame can arise even when no one is truly at fault. I’ve learned, however, that there is a way to move forward from being the victim of such unjustified blame. It comes through gaining the understanding that man, as created by God, is actually blameless. This healing truth of the spiritual nature of man (meaning all men and women) is spoken of in the Bible. The book of Ephesians states: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: according as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love” (1:3, 4).
Not long ago, I found myself in a situation where someone was convinced I had made a mistake, when I actually hadn’t been responsible for it. I was even able to prove I hadn’t done anything wrong, yet the blame continued. I really wanted to correct this uneasy situation and avoid unpleasant and unfair consequences.
At the time, though, I felt it would be unwise to attempt to resolve this situation through speaking with the individual involved. Although the right words at the right time can have a healing effect, I felt the atmosphere was too negatively charged to attempt that conversation.
But I knew I could pray. As a student of Christian Science, I had seen so often how prayer can be an effective way to bring resolution to discordant situations, and I felt sure it could lift the cloud of blame in this case, too. So I began to pray to see more clearly what I knew to be spiritually true about myself and the other person. I saw that we were both blameless as innocent ideas of God, created and governed by divine Love. To be blameless means to be free from fault, irreproachable. Although I was mistakenly being perceived as being at fault and reproachable, I knew that healing would be found by affirming and understanding the spiritual fact that man, in the likeness of divine Truth, God, is pure and innocent both of blame and of wanting to blame others.
In the Christian Science textbook, “Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures,” author Mary Baker Eddy explains, “Truth is affirmative, and confers harmony” (p. 418). And that is what took place. It became very clear to me in light of these powerful spiritual truths that both I (who seemed to be the blamed) and the other person (who seemed to be the blamer) were blameless. I saw that a child of God could not express a mistaken intention, misinterpret actions, or put blame on anyone unjustly. I was grateful for this healing inspiration, and soon after I was delighted to realize there was no further blaming occurring and harmony had been fully restored in that situation.
Any downward spiral of negativity involving blame can be replaced by this prayerful realization of man’s blamelessness – and blessedness. Furthermore, seeing others in the light of their true, spiritual being as God’s beloved children enables us to perceive as innocent and blameless even those who have done wrong. Such prayer doesn’t excuse wrongdoing, but it makes a separation between the wrong action and the true nature of the individual, which is a step toward healing and reformation. Each of us can perceive the present harmonious state of our true being in God, where the material mentality behind all blaming, which the Bible calls “the accuser” (Revelation 12:10), is forever silenced. As a hymn in the “Christian Science Hymnal: Hymns 430-603” states:
“You are God’s purpose, His great design.
Beautiful, blameless, His child divine.”
(Peter B. Allen, Hymn 565)