Never mind what my name is

Lawyers agree to take on all manner of unusual cases on behalf of their clients. Consider Colleen MacLeod, for instance, who successfully has represented a preteen girl before a court in Taranaki, New Zealand. Why does a 9-year-old need an attorney? Because in happier times her parents, now battling over custody, decided she should be named Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii. But even a little kid is capable of being mortified, and she soon demanded to be known by everyone – including her closest friends – as "K."

Well, that's about to change, if it hasn't already. Family Court Judge Rob Murfitt ordered that she be made a ward of the state and that her name legally be changed to one that wouldn't be "a social hurdle" as she grows, such as – say – Emily. But whatever it becomes, it will not be made public, to protect her privacy. New Zealand law forbids parents from saddling their offspring with names that are considered likely to cause offense to a reasonable person, and in recent years registrars have refused to approve Twisty Poi, Fish and Chips, and Keenan Got Lucy, among others. But No. 16 Bus Shelter, Violence, and, as we've seen, Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii somehow bypassed the system. Having ruled in Talula's favor, Judge Murfitt then found himself dealing with the latest challenge to the system, a mother who named her daughter in text-message lingo.

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