Admit it: You've always wanted to disintegrate something. Well, now you can, with the 14,000-pound Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator. If you've got a piece of paper, a magnetic tape, or a CD that you would like to make emphatically nonexistent, this is the tool to use. We're pretty sure that this is what Marvin the Martian used before he upgraded to the Illudium PU-36.