Just the way we are
My friend and I have long conversations about anything and everything. We've even discussed why we're such good friends, since the major thing we have in common is that we both live alone and in the same condominium building. She has a PhD in engineering and math. I can't even balance my checkbook. She's an impeccable housekeeper; I vacuum once a month, maybe. She calls herself an unbeliever, having no interest in religion or God; I'm a student of Christian Science, which is vital to me.
Then the other day we discovered that over 30 years ago our children all watched Mister Rogers on television, and now our grandchildren watch him. It delights us both that children can still see him look straight into the camera and say: "I like you just the way you are." Alice says that maybe that explains our friendship and attitudes; we take each other as we are. I don't expect her to adopt my views; she doesn't try to win me over to hers. We accept and enjoy wherever the other is coming from, just as we are.
The Discoverer of Christian Science and founder of this newspaper, Mary Baker Eddy, once wrote: "By the love of God we can cancel error in our own hearts, and blot it out of others.... Leave the distinctions of individual character and the discriminations and guidance thereof to the Father, whose wisdom is unerring and whose love is universal" ("No and Yes," pgs. 7-8).
This seems to me a natural and Christian standpoint. It includes loving our neighbor, welcoming any returning prodigal, forgiveness, acceptance of individuality whether it mirrors oneself or not. My basis for following these precepts is the conviction that we all are children of God, that His power and love are available to everyone.
This doesn't mean being blind to one's own or another's shortcomings or ignoring blatant wrongdoing. But it does mean accepting the spiritual fact that in God's kingdom, where each of us truly is, harmony and goodness are natural, expectable. The way we really are is merciful, intelligent, whole, complete, because - as the Bible says, "...we are also His offspring" (see Acts 17:28).
I had an experience some years ago that showed how practical this standpoint can be. I had a deep rift with a relative. We had been very close, but mistrust, hurt feelings, all sorts of complications, were making us miserable.
After some months and much praying and soul-searching by both of us, I began to realize that it wasn't a question of who was wrong but rather of what was wrong. Resentment and misery were wrong because they were contrary to God's unconditional love for all His children. Continuing affection was right, and possible, because what God knows about His creation is real and reliable. His children can naturally accept and reflect what the Father is doing.
So the negativity and pain we each were feeling were not natural, and not really right or true. Since God loves each of us just as we are - spiritual, caring, meek, joyful - we could each express that love unselfishly and let go of the harsh opinions and hurt feelings.
Soon we had a calm reuniting, and felt even closer than before. Apart from finding deep wells of unconditional love for my relative, I found I was learning to love myself without the nagging doubts and inferior feelings I used to have.
I've thought of this healing often. I've thought of it when I contemplate my own family situations, business relationships, or conflicting views in our neighborhood.
Because we are all God's children, it is possible to love ourselves and others unconditionally - just the way we are.
... unto every one
of us is given grace
according to the
measure of the
gift of Christ.
Ephesians 4:7
