Do you have doubts about what God is like? Or do you even wonder if there is a God? As a teenager I did. First I thought that God was unfair, that He played favorites and was terribly lax in governing a messed-up world. Then I gave up any belief in God. But deep in my heart I really didn't want to be an atheist. I needed God, but a good and caring God. I was troubled, with many questions and scary nightmares.
Then someone introduced me to Christian Science, which was discovered in 1866 by Mary Baker Eddy. It was the first thing in my life that added up. Eagerly I began to explore Christian Science. I accepted its explanation of God as the perfect creator of a perfect, spiritual creation. I was able to find guidance in the Bible and in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, written by Mrs. Eddy to explain the message of the Bible and especially the healing ability of Christ Jesus.
I began to find answers to my questions about life, and to see proofs that God does exist, is always with me, and cares for me. My nightmares stopped.
We need proofs. They make the difference between just theorizing about something and seeing what is fact. First to believe in one all-powerful God were the Hebrew people. Their leader Moses declared that God "is the Rock, his work is perfect . . . a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he." That is from the book of Deuteronomy in the Bible (32:4). The Hebrews had proofs of God's presence and power when they were delivered out of slavery and other tough situations.
The care that God provides has the quality of a loving father. That care is for you, too, whether or not you have a caring parent with you. You can prove it. Your need might be for more love at home, for better work at school, for overcoming a bad habit, or to end loneliness, fear, inferiority, or some other bad thing.
How can you find help? By finding what God is to you, and by understanding Him better. Consider this statement from Science and Health: "God is natural good, and is represented only by the idea of goodness; while evil should be regarded as unnatural, because it is opposed to the nature of Spirit, God" (p. 119).
Recently I was thinking about something else the Bible tells. Moses and the Hebrews made the wonderful discovery that the one God is Spirit-the God of wisdom and understanding. Suddenly, I grasped what I thought Moses saw: that God is "moral"-that is, that He is just and permits no evil. I had never before thought of God in just that way, even though I'd come to know Him as perfect, wise, and good.
I was filled with gratitude for the Bible and for Christian Science, which had made God better known to me.
Just then a note came from my cousin. It mentioned that her right hand and arm had become useless. Doctors had scheduled tests.
Here is an example of how Christian Science can help in such a situation. I reached out to God in prayer, and the fact of God's goodness became clear to me, right while I was reading that note. Helplessness had no room in the creation of God-I knew this. With conviction, I reasoned that because God is just, He doesn't bestow ability, and then let it be lost. I understood that God "is represented only by the idea of goodness." I saw that it would be immoral for me to believe that God, who is infinite good, could or would permit disability in my cousin, or in any one of us. Then I sent a note, telling her some of these thoughts.
Soon a reply came in her own handwriting. She said that suddenly, before the test day arrived, her hand had become so much better that no test or painful surgery was needed. She said she was doing well. She thanked me for my prayers and said she was sure they were what had helped her.
She is now completely recovered. Apparently she had accepted the goodness of God as natural, and the healing she needed came to her. You can accept the power of God, too, and find that as a result your doubts concerning Him end. You do this by getting to know Him as one absolutely good God.