WRONG desires prevent us from getting what we really want and need. From experience, I can say this is certainly true. A few years ago I found myself falling in love with someone who worked for the same company that I did. He was attractive, intelligent, and lots of fun to be with. And it was clear that he felt the same way about me. He was exactly the kind of person I would have liked to date except for one thing: he was married.
Although our compatibility made the situation very tempting, my deep-seated conviction that it wouldn't be right to date a married man helped to prevent our friendship from becoming an affair. I also knew within my heart that a romantic relationship with someone who already had a commitment to a wife and family could never really be truly fulfilling.
At the same time, I really cared for this man. I was afraid that without him I would miss out on one of the best and most exciting friendships I had ever had. I spent almost a year vacillating about the relationship. And I prayed whenever I felt guilty about my strong feelings and the emotional intimacy I shared with my friend. But sometimes I thought how unfair the whole thing was. I had never met anyone so perfect for me before. It seemed unjust for me to miss out on something that seemed truly good. I
often compared the men I was dating to this special friend, and they always came up short in my eyes. One evening I was talking with a close friend of mine. She said to me, ``You know this is never going to give you what you really want." That was just what I needed to hear! For the first time I clearly understood that I wanted a husband of my own, not somebody else's. I didn't want anything that wasn't rightfully mine. This realization enabled me to turn wholeheartedly to God to free myself from this wron gful longing.
One of the Ten Commandments found in Exodus in the Bible includes these words, ``. . . thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife." I didn't want to break a commandment from God by desiring someone else's husband. The Commandments and Christ Jesus' teachings, when we obey them, protect us and maintain our happiness. I began to see more clearly how truly unnatural it is to want something that, if I was honest about it, I knew would bring only unhappiness to all involved. But I also realized that I didn't h ave to feel any lack. God loves each one of His children impartially, and individually. He doesn't give to one and withhold from another.
Mary Baker Eddy, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science, writes in her book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, ``Chastity is the cement of civilization and progress." Chastity includes the concept of decency. Actively living in accord with moral decency brings stability and progress to our lives. After praying in this way, I felt sure that letting go of wrong desires wouldn't deprive me of anything good. On the contrary, it would give me what was really beneficial to my life.
Soon after this I had lunch with my friend. It was obvious that a change had taken place in our relationship. The immoral desires and sexual tension had been completely eradicated on both sides, but every good and pure element of the friendship remained. As an added bonus, within a very short time I met the man who later became my husband. He is everything I could ever have asked for in a spouse--and more.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if each of us could experience a pure and satisfying love? Well, it's more than a possibility; it's a Biblical promise. The truths that were proved in my life, when I was ready to turn to them, are available to all, impartially and individually. No one is ever left out of God's all-encompassing love.