I WAS devastated when my husband left me. His departure left me feeling unloved, hurt, and rejected. But most of all, I was really unnerved by the feeling that someone could snatch away a part of my life that I wanted to keep. I felt that what he looked on as his freedom was won at my expense, and it frustrated me terribly that my life could seem so out of my control.
In desperation I turned to God in prayer. At first, I think I just begged Him to help me. But slowly I felt exactly how close I really am to God. I knew that He would never abandon one of His children--or even leave them feeling abandoned by someone else. The Bible tells us in so many different and wonderful ways who God is and who we are as His children. Story after story tells of God's mothering care for His offspring. I knew that just as He cared for those who are written about in the Bible, He was ca ring for me and His care included the proper control of my life. Even if I didn't know how to make myself happy, God did. Christ Jesus' promise, found in Mark's Gospel, ``With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible," had been proved to me over and over in the past, and it gave me hope now.
Mary Baker Eddy, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science, gives Mind as another name for God in her book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. She writes, ``The divine Mind that made man maintains His own image and likeness. . . . All that really exists is the divine Mind and its idea, and in this Mind the entire being is found harmonious and eternal. The straight and narrow way is to see and acknowledge this fact, yield to this power, and follow the leadings of truth." I did my best to cling to the spiritual facts, yield to God's power, and follow Him. The truth is that Mind really is in control of all that it has created.
A short time later, I realized that it wasn't my estranged husband's actions that were making me so unhappy, but rather it was how I was reacting to his behavior. I couldn't change what he was doing, but I could immediately do something about my reactions! My frustration over my inability to make him act the way I felt he should dissolved. I discovered that I didn't want to control him any more than I was willing to be controlled by him. Mrs. Eddy tells us in Science and Health, ``God has endowed man wit h inalienable rights, among which are self-government, reason, and conscience. Man is properly self-governed only when he is guided rightly and governed by his Maker, divine Truth and Love." Think about it. Self-government is a God-given, inalienable right. No one can take this from us. We are not at the mercy of any unpleasant situation. God has established our freedom on a spiritual basis, and it is ours for keeps.
I made a specific effort to watch my thoughts and their corresponding actions. Someone once told me that your actions tell you what you are really thinking. As I aligned my thinking more closely with God, big changes took place in my life. I found that I began to treat people better and to love them more. What my estranged husband did or didn't do no longer affected my joy, though he eventually became kinder and more respectful toward me. The best part about this whole experience is that I learned that I
didn't have to wait for someone to treat me better in order to be happy or feel good. But I could see that my former husband's new attitude toward me was the natural outcome of my own greater understanding of God and man.
As God's children, we each have the right to experience dominion in all areas of our lives. We can prove just how well He cares for us at home, at work, and everywhere. We aren't subject to personal control, but to the government of our Father-Mother God, and what a wonderful blessing that is!