Control or Trust?
DO you spend time and energy trying to get things under control? The demands of finances, jobs, schedules, and relationships can seem endless. When we depend on notebooks, calendars, beepers, and lists, we may be wrestling with tools and techniques rather than truly solving our problems. While raising two children as a single parent, running a business, taking an active part in church activities, and caring for a parent in my home, I eagerly read articles on how to organize my time better. I revised lists and schedules in an attempt to be ``in control.'' Then I was told I would have to move.
This was unwelcome news. I worried about high rents, scarce vacancies, the reaction of my parent, and the time a move would require. I reacted by making lists and plans. This did not relieve my tension, worry, or heavy sense of responsibility.
I often prayed to God to know the best way to solve problems. These included physical, financial, and family needs. The healing answer would often come as an idea, or ``angel thought.'' Mary Baker Eddy, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science, defines angels as ``God's thoughts passing to man; spiritual intuitions, pure and perfect; the inspiration of goodness, purity, and immortality, counteracting all evil, sensuality, and mortality.''1
The thought of God as infinite Mind, eternally expressing good and abundance through His spiritual child, man, assured me of comfort and healing. But first I had to let go of my own narrow view of possible options and turn receptively to God -- praying as Christ Jesus taught us in the Lord's Prayer, ``Thy will be done.'' Since God is good, a loving Father, we can trust His wisdom to guide us. My experience of God's help in the past made me willing to look beyond the options I could see from a limited, human outlook. I made a conscious effort to give up my desire to control events and to obey God's direction instead.
The result of such prayer was that I was led to divinely inspired solutions that were often innovative and practical. When I shut out the clamor of worrisome fear and listened for God's inspiration, these angel thoughts came clearly. Now, as I prayed to know the right steps to take, the answer came as a question, ``Do you trust Me?'' The ``Me'' was God. I realized that I could indeed trust an all-powerful, all-loving God to provide our family with a home. I thought of the Bible verses ``Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.''2 Calm and confidence returned. The sense of worry melted away.
In a few days the absentee owner, whom I had met briefly years before, called. I learned that she had no intention of selling the house and that I could remain for six months at the same rent. I had been deliberately misinformed. The person managing the property had wanted me to move so that he could rent the house himself. The owner expressed appreciation for me as a ``quality tenant,'' and I continued there for several years.
This healing experience helped me to see that while there is a right place for order and organization in our lives, they should be the natural outgrowth of an increased understanding of ourselves as governed by God, omnipresent Mind. When we accept God's wisdom to guide us, we need not be tyrannized by details and deadlines. The control of an all-loving God can bring us only good, only spiritual growth and progress.
1Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 581. 2Proverbs 3:5, 6.
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