New clothes, new notebooks, and plenty of pens and pencils -- youngsters nationwide are trooping back to school. For their part, teachers have braced for another year of expecting the unexpected, whether it's `My pet aardvark ate my homework paper' or, `Hey, now I understand it!' Test question: In June of 1986 you remembered to rinse out your thermos. TRUE FALSE Let's start with a bit of review. How much is one and one? Very Good. Another review question. How much is two and two? Good. Good. Now a trick question. How much is three and three? It is my pleasure to introduce Miss Hockley. This is her first year. She's probably still dedicated to teaching. I'd like that to last at least six months. Mr. Kelly, biology, First week Mr. Kelly, biology, Second week Old Kelly, room 402, thereafter Oh, please, stop it, mom! I'll be back by three o'clock. I just figured out the purpose of algebra. It's so you can do your kids' homework when they take algebra. Not bad, Melanie, not bad for the third day of school. OK, ladies and gentlemen, you can write on any topic, as long or short as you think is right, depending on how you're feeling. I want five pages, double-spaced, half-inch max margin, in ink, in your handwriting, legible. Subjects to chose from:

A. Red Badge of Courage

B. Red Badge of Courage

C. Red Badge of Courage

D. All of the above. No, silly, English is required! That means you have to take it. And after you take it you've had it, and you don't have to take it any more. So, that's the principal.

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