Allowing just two weeks for judgment, preparation, and scheduling, the TV brought us a review of the most important personalities of 1981. It came on after 7:30 p.m., so I didn't see it, but I certainly hope it interviewed some of my favorites:
Hastings Littlefield, of Outer Razor Island, who came to the mainland on December 23 to do his Christmas shopping. He stores his automobile while he's on the island in Zeke Edgerly's barn, and as the battery was down it took a bit of time to start the thing. After he had spent $867.58 (including taxes) with the Rockland merchants, he came back to his parked vehicle to find it had been tagged for a traffic infraction. The tag had places to check off fireplugs, crosswalks, restricted zones, overtime, and so on, and Hastings found the officer had checked off ''Other.''
Merton Monjoy, sixth-grade genius, who finally combined science and culture by programming the school's computer so it composed ''Sonnet to the Gross National Product.''
Gertrude Cimek of Upper Lendell who, when solicited for a cake for the benefit supper of the Ladies' Aid of the Community Volunteer Firemen's Association, prepared a three-level chocolate cake with vanilla icing. Because it was snowing and she was home alone, she then shoveled out the garage door and along the driveway to the state road. Next, she drove seven miles to town and found a note on the fire station door: ''Due to Storm, Supper Cancelled.''
Silsby Soames, who for seven straight months got a print-out bill with 18 percent interest when he had paid the amount in full eight months ago and wrote seven letters calling attention to the mistake.
Everett Malm II, who keeps a lobster boat foghorn by his telephone shelf. He blows it vigorously into the mouthpiece whenever he is connected to a tape machine.
Jackie Nesmith, who got an advertising letter from the Home Craft & Hobby Shoppe which started, ''Dear Ms. Nesmith.'' He went into the store and tipped over a counter full of buttons.
Gunther Laboutte of the Meadow Road, East Shore, who was pushing a hive of bees on a wheelbarrow, and absent-mindedly waved at some summer people.
Sissy Bomgard, who spent $23.60 for groceries at Benner's Market, and carried home the wrong bag. She has eleven pairs of used sneakers.
Luther Prindle of Cobb's Cove, also East Shore, who spent $9 for new registration and stickers for his boat, only to find the old ones were good for two more years.
Dipsy-Doodle Dunbar, the Town House janitor, who stood on the top step of a ten-step stepladder to replace a burned-out electric light bulb. He is resting comfortably and receiving visitors during the afternoons at his home on Maple Avenue.
Short Connover, baseball statistician, who announced that Boomer Bagshot, left fielder for the Tri-Town Tigers, batted .218 against left-handed pitchers and .218 against right-handed pitchers, for a combined season's average of .218.
Reginal Ransome of RFD No. 3, Box 547, who saves all his junk mail and carries it once a month to leave it on the front steps of the postmaster's house.
Bruce Dunphy, letter-writing addict, who wrote a letter to the editor of The Clarion-Bugle, saying the latest edition was excellent, and he didn't find a thing in it to write a letter about.
Tizzie Blake, wife of Tozzie Blake the Dump Keeper, simply for being Tizzie Blake, wife of Tozzie Blake the Dump Keeper.
Joe Prindle, who got the wrong bag and put sugar instead of salt on his driveway ice.
Tommy Gordeo, who tried to take advantage of the huge pay-backs on new cars, and drove over 8,500 miles without finding a participating dealer.
Old Thomas Oldheim, who was pleased to be so spry at his years, and whose illusions were shattered when a woman stood up in the bus and gave him her seat.
And Chet Ringrose, who supported the organization of Weight Watchers Anonymous by sending a generous, but anonymous, check.