Text for today

Inflation hit an annualized rate of 39 percent for about 15 minutes this morning. April Fool! The run of "Dallas" on TV was extended for 14 years. April Fool! Walt Disney Studios announced a $100 million remake of "Petulia." April Fool! President Carter pledged that, if re-elected, he would appoint Hamilton Jordan secretary of state. April Fool! Senator Kennedy pledged that, if nominated, he would name Jody Powell to balance the ticket. April Fool! Congress decided to balance the budget without cutting spending by placing a tax on cats, fish, and other pets. April Fool! The Federal Reserve Board declared it was canceling Sunday until further notice. April Fool! David Rockefeller declared he was canceling the Federal Reserve Board. April Fool!

We could go on, but see, America, things could be worse. Couldn't they?