'Jupiter Ascending': The nutty movie isn't exactly 'The Matrix'

'Jupiter,' the newest film from the Wachowskis, centers on Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), a resident of Earth, and the intergalactic hunter (Channing Tatum) who protects her.

'Jupiter Ascending' stars (from l.) Sean Bean, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Channing Tatum, and Mila Kunis.

Murray Close/Warner Bros. Pictures/AP

February 5, 2015

The long-delayed 3-D "Jupiter Ascending," the new sci-fi extravaganza from the Wachowskis, has finally entered Earth’s orbit. It’s one of the more nutty futuristic escapades I’ve ever seen, although that’s not quite the same thing as saying I liked it. 

Mila Kunis plays Jupiter Jones, who lives out her meager existence in Chicago cleaning other people’s homes. It turns out – long story – that she is actually the Queen of the Universe. Or something like that.

Her purported royalty doesn’t really faze her. She’d just as soon people didn’t call her “Your Majesty," unless maybe it’s Caine, the hunky, genetically engineered intergalactic hunter played by Channing Tatum in major mumbly mode. Caine has a slight strain of wolf DNA, though he’s far from a Wolverine. Zooming around the space-time continuum, he’s more like the Silver Surfer. Caine is Jupiter’s protector from the depredations of the Abrasax family, headed by Eddie Redmayne’s ruthless Balem, who speaks in oozingly soft tones for that extra-special creepola effect. 

In Kentucky, the oldest Black independent library is still making history

I enjoyed this movie more than the last two films from the Wachowskis, the interminable "Cloud Atlas" and "Speed Racer." On the other hand, "The Matrix" it's not. Grade: C (Rated PG-13 for some violence, sequences of sci-fi action, some suggestive content and partial nudity.)