Chuck Norris to America: Hoist that 'tea-stained' flag

Former-Huckabee supporter Chuck Norris mulls how best to help his country.

Chuck Norris, revolutionary.

Chuck Norris has never been known for his subtlety. After all, this is the karate master who brawled his way through the "Delta Force" franchise. The man who zealously patrolled the borders of Texas, his cowboy hat artfully askew. The man who stood behind Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, through thick and through thin (mostly through thin).

And now Chuck Norris is telling true American patriots that they should proudly fly the flag dip their flag in warm tea. In a column for the conservative website, Norris says he has been spending an increasing amount of time mulling how best to help his country – how to "serve God and the republic as the Founders did."

The answer, Norris explains, is to take down that regular old American flag, which is no longer bold enough for these troubled times. Instead, "post the 13-star Betsy Ross flag, Navy Jack or Gadsden flag ('Don't Tread on Me') or any representation that tells the story of Old Glory and makes a stand for our Founders' vision of America."

Oh, what's that? You don't have a Gadsden flag just lying around in your living room? Well in that case, Chuck has a suggestion: "If you insist on posting a modern USA flag, too, then get one that is tea-stained to show your solidarity with our Founders." That's right, folks. Chuck Norris is asking you to dip your flag in warm liquid.

Isn't that flag desecration – an act many conservatives have long rallied against?

It certainly sounds a lot like it. And some left-leaning bloggers are having a field day with the Norris column. Among them is Christopher Orr, who lambastes Norris on the website of the New Republic:

Now, a more cynical person than myself might suggest that this presents a perfect opportunity for the Democrats to take a page out of the GOP playbook and put Mr. Norris and his ilk on their heels by passing an anti-flag-desecration resolution of some kind. But, like most liberals, I support the speech rights even of those who disagree with me. So, do what you will, Mr. Norris. Wrap a bushel of Darjeeling in Old Glory and dunk it in a scalding tub if it will make you happy. All you're doing is revealing just how pinched and provisional your vaunted love of country truly is.

Update: A tipster has sent along this clause from the US flag code: "The flag should never touch anything beneath it, such as the ground, the floor, water, or merchandise."


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