Breaking news: John McCain's daughter unhappy with dating life
Things are rough all over.
It's kind of like the movie "Dumb and Dumber" when Harry tells Lloyd, "We've got no food, we've got no jobs, our pets' heads are falling off!"
It's that way for America right now. The Dow is down, foreclosures are up. And the equivalent of heads falling off our pets?
The plight of poor Meghan McCain.
That's right; the daughter of former presidential candidate John McCain is in sad shape. Her dating life is in shambles.
Ms. McCain, a frequent blogger on the Daily Beast, penned a tale of woe yesterday alerting readers that "the election killed my personal life."
It seems that every potential suitor wants to talk to her about the election. Whether they voted for President Obama or Senator McCain, it makes no difference. That's the topic of discussion.
"Once I went out with a guy who said the food I had ordered was a 'maverick choice' and proceeded to tell me, 'Wow, straight talking must run in the family.' It’s like someone taking Lisa Marie Presley out on a date and singing “Hound Dog” in the middle of dinner," she wrote.
Now that's funny. But not to her.
Pantsuits and large pearls
Here's another one:
"One extreme fan of my mother’s recently told me I could be 'his Cindy'. And then asked me if I ever wore pearls because they probably would look as good on me as they do on my mother. No, I'm not kidding. Any guy that has a fetish for older women in pantsuits and large pearls obviously only finds my last name attractive about me," she writes.
It gets worse.
People who voted for President Obama? A "turn-off," she says.
People who voted for her Dad? Again, a "turn-off."
This is good news for Ralph Nader supporters then, right?
In the midst of all the wailing, she does provide a clue to the key to her heart. It ain't politics.
"I am sure I am not being fair to all the men out there, but my recent experiences have left me scarred and wary of dating. At this point, my biggest aphrodisiac is an apathetic attitude toward politics."
Meghan McCain meet Mark Cuban.
If you can get over the fact that he's married, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks is not only a billionaire but fits your qualifications.
"I hate politics," Cuban once told Time magazine. "It's slimy. Any job where people pander for votes, I don't like. The country has gotten so partisan that if you're not on my side, you're the enemy. The only thing I ever try to support is a third party, like Unity08. We need more parties and more choice."