On Wednesday night’s “Colbert Report,” a proud, and dare we say, jealous, Colbert announced that his sister, Elizabeth Colbert Busch, is running for Congress.
“Holy cow! My sister is running for Congress!” Colbert said.
And then two days later he told a group of House Democrats that Americans liked colonoscopies more than Congress. “But [it's] just edging out meth labs and gonorrhea,” he added.
Ms. Colbert Busch, also known as “Lulu,” is running for the South Carolina congressional seat vacated by Rep. Tim Scott (R), who was appointed to fill Sen. Jim DeMint’s Senate seat, when Senator DeMint (R) resigned in December.
Colbert Busch, a business-development director at a Clemson University institute, is one of 19 candidates seeking the Charleston-area 1st District seat, and besides former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford (yep, he’s running, too), has the most name recognition, not to mention a famous little brother.
Not that it helps.
Ever just, Colbert promised no special treatment for his sister.
“No free airtime, Lulu!” Colbert said Wednesday. “As a broadcast journalist I am obligated to maintain pure objectivity. It doesn't matter that my sister is intelligent, hardworking, compassionate, and dedicated to the people of South Carolina. I will not be mentioning any of that on my show.”
There’s just one problem. Colbert Busch is running as a Democrat.
“A., I take that as a personal affront,” Colbert said, “and two, there are so many great choices on the Republican side.”
Some 16 candidates have filed in the GOP primary. “Republicans are all over this election like white on Republicans,” Colbert said.
He went on to plug some of the GOP candidates including Ric “The Stick” Bryant, “The Electrifying” Keith Blandford, Elizabeth “Killing Them Softly” Moffly, and Chip “This is My Actual Name” Limehouse.
But it’s former Governor Sanford, who gained national attention when he said he was hiking the Appalachian Trail but was actually cavorting with his mistress in Argentina, that Colbert said he favors.
“At this point I'm leaning toward actual candidate and former governor of the Appalachian Trail – Mark Sanford. You see, I'm a family values conservative, and Mark, he just seems so steady.”
(Nonetheless, we heard Colbert will be raising campaign funds for his sister at a Feb. 22 benefit, according to a campaign invite.)
Colbert left his sister’s rivals, who no doubt watch his show, with this advice, honed, we're sure, over years of merciless sibling ribbing.
"Right after she makes a good point, repeat it back to her in a dumb voice,'' he said. "Trust me, it works.''