Perhaps in an effort to eradicate the disaster that was Wednesday night's group performance from our minds, American Idol started the results show with Jacob Lusk, Haley Reinhart, Lauren Alaina and Stefano Langone performing Train's, "Soul Sister."
"Soul Sister," although a great tune, is just one of those songs that can very easily sound corny and all in all the performance was a train wreck. Haley's sherbet inspired wardrobe didn't help matters much, either.
The second group performance didn't fare much better. Casey Abrams, James Durbin, and Scotty McCreery sang Coldplay's, "Viva La Vida." The song didn't suit Casey or Scotty at all. James managed to hold his own and saved the performance from being totally dreadful. It was only marginally dreadful this week. Why, oh why, do American Idol producers torture viewers like this when they have duets like Casey and Haley or Scotty and Lauren, who have proven they can be really great together?
The first person introduced to the Bottom Three was Mr. Jacob Lusk. Jacob probably secretly longs to be eliminated because of the drama it would create. Picture it, Jacob, the fallen idol, with smoke billowing around his ankles as he stares out into an audience stricken silent by the grief of his impending departure. The remaining contestants convulsing in sobs, knowing that they should have gone before Jacob. Seriously.
Before the remaining bottom two were announced, Season 7 American Idol winner David Cook performed his new single, "The Last Goodbye." After his performance David explained that his mother was in the audience, not for him, but for the sole purpose of meeting Steven Tyler. Of course Mr. Tyler obliged to having a reasonably attractive woman rush over and embrace him. That Steven is so magnanimous.
Without further ado, Ryan told both Stefano and Haley that they would be joining Jacob in the Bottom Three. Poor Stefano and Haley, they might as well just start out every results show sitting in those stools. Imagine the time we could save! But Ryan almost immediately let Haley out of her misery and sent her back to safety, which is certainly what needed to happen since she should have never been in the Bottom Three this week. If the voting were based solely on talent, that seat certainly belonged to either Scotty or Lauren after Wednesday night's performances.
Katy Perry and Kanye West then took the stage to perform, Katy's, "E.T." Katy was delightfully odd in her space inspired outfit with pink LEDs, and Kanye looked as in love with himself as ever. Unfortunately, Katy is one of those artists who always sounds a little less than stellar live and somehow the whole extraterrestrial / boyfriend analogy just doesn't resonate. Although, when considering Katy is married to British comedian Russell Brand, perhaps you can kind of see where she is coming from . . .
Then it was time for the real results and having 100 percent accurate predictions two weeks in a row was within this blogger's reach. Ryan Seacrest just needed to mutter those two little syllables "Ja - cob" and victory would be mine! The naysayers would be silenced by my uncanny ability to look into the hearts and minds of Americans, like a modern day Nostradamus.
Instead, Ryan announced that Stefano was leaving us. And just like that, the dreams of three people were carelessly crushed. Stefano would never win Idol. Jacob would not be able to live out his elimination fantasy this night, and my dream of being the resident American Idol psychic will not come to pass.
However, the fact that it was Stefano saying goodbye, did help to ease the pain somewhat.