After much careful cogitation, I decided not to binge-watch episodes of the old “Baywatch” TV show in preparation for reviewing its movie incarnation. This is not a movie, after all, that stands up to much textual analysis. In fact, it doesn’t require much analysis of anything, except, of course, beach bods.
The hyperenergetic Dwayne Johnson, in the David Hasselhoff role, sort of, gets to show his pecs at every opportunity – ditto Zac Efron as a two-time Olympic gold-medal swimmer on the skids. Kelly Rohrbach leads a bevy of female lifeguards who look like refugees from a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. What little plot there is involves drug-running and is just about as disposable as everything in this paltry excuse for a movie. Grade: D (Rated R for language throughout, crude sexual content, and graphic nudity.)