At this time of year, a lot of people are reviewing their goals. Some are probably asking, "Did I get as far as I'd planned? If not, should I keep on this path or go in another direction?" And maybe some wonder, "Now that I've got what I wanted, am I as happy as I thought I'd be?"
This past year has been a kind of "do over" time for me. Last February, I found myself in a new home, making new friends and revisiting old ones. And I needed to restart a stalled career. I was also facing life newly widowed. While I'm grateful to say I'm now totally free of grief, in some ways, I'm still learning how to fit into this world as an "almost senior" single woman.
There were many times when it all seemed overwhelming. But as a student of Christian Science, I've spent nearly half my life leaning on God for comfort and solutions. And He has never let me down. The first sentence of the Preface of the Christian Science textbook by Mary Baker Eddy gave me the encouragement I needed. That book, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures," opens with this promise: "To those leaning on the sustaining infinite, to-day is big with blessings."
The key word for me has been "to-day." With all that I felt I needed to accomplish, I could stay safely grounded if I opened my eyes to each day's blessings, no matter how small they seemed to be. Although there were some difficult and frightening times, each day I could be grateful for much good. No matter where I was, I always had food, clothing, shelter, and people who loved me. I've now accepted that all good comes from divine Love, the source of all intelligence. Because God is immeasurable, so is His love for His creation. Because God is indestructible, so is the visible, tangible proof of His love for me.
These ideas helped quiet a lot of fear and enabled me to feel greater joy than I'd known for many years.
During this time, I thought a lot about Moses' 40-year journey in the wilderness with the children of Israel. The Bible says that although he led the Israelites to the Promised Land, he was not allowed to enter. I like to think that Moses' constant reliance on God for survival assured him that God would always be with him, no matter where he was. If that isn't heaven on earth, I don't know what is.
That's how it's been for me. There's still much I hope to achieve. But every step of the journey, God has revealed Himself as Friend, Mentor, Counselor, Consoler. What greater prize can there be than confidence in the ongoing presence and power of this magnificent, loving God who is with me always and in all ways?
When I first returned to my home state, I wasn't sure what to do about housing. I prayed to God for guidance and felt the assurance of His care. Later I asked a realtor friend if she knew of any small condos or town homes available to rent. She told me that she was newly divorced, and now found her home too big for her. She asked if I would consider renting a suite of rooms from her. This arrangement has blessed both of us beyond our expectations. We've become good friends and have shared spiritual and practical support in many ways. And we're having fun, entertaining, doing a little traveling, and trying new activities together.
My greatest accomplishment this year has been learning to embrace the journey more than worry about where it will ultimately lead. As God takes care of today, I can trust He'll take care of every day to come. This doesn't make me careless or lazy. Instead, it gives me a sense of calm that energizes and inspires. With this peace of mind, I can hear more clearly the right choices to make. And I reach forward with greater confidence and courage. This is one of the ways I know God is with me, every step of the way.