Seven worst Christmas toys for kids

This year’s list of the worst toys is brought to you by plastics, those bright synthetic polymers that threaten to overtake the living rooms of middle-class parents. They can be classified into three categories: those that assault our senses, those that skank-ify our daughters, and those so bizarre they deserve a spot on late-night TV. Don’t be fooled. Many of these toys make great gifts, at least for someone else’s child, ideally someone who lives out of state. Here's my list of the Top 7 worst Christmas toys for 2011: 

7. I am T-Pain Mic

Courtesy of Leanne Shirtliffe
The I am T-Pain microphone, which comes with voice-correction software, ranks as No. 7 on my list of worst Christmas toys for 2011. Does it really encourage pitch-challenged youngsters to sing better – or just more?

This microphone is named after a rapper who’s known for using auto-tuning so he can sound relatively in pitch when he “sings”. Now, in this no-child-is-allowed-to-be-mediocre era, your kid can get the illusion that he can sing, even if he sounds like a cat held over a bathtub when he belts out the national anthem. For $39.99, this microphone comes with three pre-recorded beats and a USB connection so your child can Bieber-ize himself on YouTube. Thank you, voice correction software, for this 2011 Christmas toy – and for convincing a generation that they should sing somewhere other than in the shower.

1 of 7
of stories this month > Get unlimited stories
You've read  of  free articles. Subscribe to continue.

Unlimited digital access $11/month.

Get unlimited Monitor journalism.