'The Honest Toddler': 7 insights into what your child is really thinking

Broken crackers? Refusal to play cars at 3 a.m.? Bunmi Laditan reveals some of the things your child finds frustrating.

7. Halloween

A child picks out a pumpkin Seth Perlman/AP

If you are in charge of handing out treats this year, cast an eye over Toddler's standards. "Distributors, under no circumstances should you EVER pass out dried fruit on Halloween," Toddler wrote. "This day was created to celebrate high fructose, not the natural sweetness of dates. Keep the raisins to yourself. This isn't a day for groceries... If you've even thought about handing out toothbrushes or pennies, please turn off your porch light and go to bed. You can't be trusted with the simplest of tasks."

7 of 7

Dear Reader,

About a year ago, I happened upon this statement about the Monitor in the Harvard Business Review – under the charming heading of “do things that don’t interest you”:

“Many things that end up” being meaningful, writes social scientist Joseph Grenny, “have come from conference workshops, articles, or online videos that began as a chore and ended with an insight. My work in Kenya, for example, was heavily influenced by a Christian Science Monitor article I had forced myself to read 10 years earlier. Sometimes, we call things ‘boring’ simply because they lie outside the box we are currently in.”

If you were to come up with a punchline to a joke about the Monitor, that would probably be it. We’re seen as being global, fair, insightful, and perhaps a bit too earnest. We’re the bran muffin of journalism.

But you know what? We change lives. And I’m going to argue that we change lives precisely because we force open that too-small box that most human beings think they live in.

The Monitor is a peculiar little publication that’s hard for the world to figure out. We’re run by a church, but we’re not only for church members and we’re not about converting people. We’re known as being fair even as the world becomes as polarized as at any time since the newspaper’s founding in 1908.

We have a mission beyond circulation, we want to bridge divides. We’re about kicking down the door of thought everywhere and saying, “You are bigger and more capable than you realize. And we can prove it.”

If you’re looking for bran muffin journalism, you can subscribe to the Monitor for $15. You’ll get the Monitor Weekly magazine, the Monitor Daily email, and unlimited access to CSMonitor.com.

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