Better get a lawyer, kid

If you've had about enough of political correctness and zero tolerance, you'll be able to empathize with Joshua Phelps. The Pine Bush (N.Y.) High student is in trouble because earlier this week a school security guard spotted a Civil War-era musket in the trunk of his car and reported him to the administration. Surely there's a plausible explanation, right? Well, yes. Joshua is among students from his county who were recruited to serve in full uniform with the "124th New York Volunteers" in a reenactment of the 1863 Battle of Chancellorsville. In fact, his entire costume also was in the trunk and the musket is fake. No matter. Police led him out of school in handcuffs. He has been suspended and faces a charge of criminal possession of a fire-arm. School officials would not comment except to call the incident a disciplinary matter.

The thrill of victory: they are used to it in Nebraska

The University of Nebraska has long been synonymous with winning football teams, but last Saturday the Cornhuskers were handed the worst defeat in school history, 70-10, by unranked Texas Tech on the latter's home field. With a record now of three wins and two losses, Nebraska still could extend its streak to 50 straight nonlosing seasons, which not only would be the best among major colleges but also the best in history. But after the meltdown against Texas Tech, avoiding a sub-.500 campaign isn't a given. The good news for Nebraska fans: Only one of its six remaining opponents is ranked in the top 25 by the Associated Press - No. 2 Oklahoma. The major college football programs that currently are enjoying the longest runs of nonlosing football seasons, the number in each case, and the year (in parentheses) each streak began:

1. Nebraska (1962) 49
2. Michigan (1968) 36
3. Florida State (1977) 27 (tie) Washington
5. Florida (1980) 24
6. Marshall (1984) 20
7. Tennessee (1989) 15
- Official 2004 NCAA Football Records

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