My life changed radically recently. It wasn't that anything had been really wrong, but I'd been feeling the need for freshness and expanded possibilities - for a life that was more than a routine. Why shouldn't life be continually spontaneous and filled with wonder? It certainly is for a child.
I felt I needed to pray to God with sincere expectation for the vision to see the present good, creativity, and vitality that He is always willing to show me. I believed that if I understood more of what God is, I would understand more of my true nature as God's image and likeness. At times this kind of prayer had brought me inspiration in difficult situations.
The founder of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy, wrote in her book "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures," "Man is the expression of God's being" (page 470). That was what I wanted with all my heart, to live my life as the expression of God's being. As I prayed about what this meant to me, I could see that God's being is filled with newness and joy, and that I am actually the immediate expression of this being.
As part of my prayer, I wrote down what really lights up my life. I wrote down things such as music, art, poetry, diversity, and riding my bicycle. I saw that the qualities of rhythm, improvisation, openness, and freedom were the essence of these activities.
Some musicians are able to improvise their unique contribution when playing with one another because they know the notes, the chord changes, and the melody line. They see the possibilities of improvisation because they understand a principle and structure governing the music. In my case, I was seeing more clearly that God as divine Principle is always available to open up new possibilities in my life.
Although I wasn't really looking for a new job, I saw an ad in the newspaper about a position working with young people. Right away I began to think I'd be good for this job because of my experience. In itself, this wasn't bad, but my thought kept returning to the safety of doing things that I'd done before. I wanted to understand more deeply how God was loving and delighting in me right now as His creation, filled with possibilities. I wrote in my journal, "God, Soul, is calling me to a place I love, showing me that I am bursting with joy to live the love that has its source in Soul." I knew that this love could have infinite manifestations.
Another idea from Science and Health was also helpful: "Desire is prayer; and no loss can occur from trusting God with our desires, that they may be moulded and exalted before they take form in words and in deeds" (page 1). I was struck by the thought that in order for my desires to be molded or shaped, it was necessary for them to be pliable enough to move with God. I had to make sure I wasn't telling God what my possibilities should be.
That same day it became very clear to me that I should not apply for the job. I felt so at peace with the fact that God's harmony and goodness were active every moment in my life. Later that evening I became reacquainted through mutual friends with a man visiting from overseas. That was the beginning of a relationship that resulted in marriage and life in another country and culture.
This kind of spiritual sifting of thought doesn't necessarily result in a radical change of lifestyle, but it can open up our lives in ways not imagined before. In some ways I have bigger challenges than ever before that demand more trust in God. But I'm loving imagining the possibilities.
For ye shall go out with joy,
and be led forth with peace:
the mountains and the hills
shall break forth before you
and all the trees of the field
shall clap their hands.