Transcribed from a decaf-stained napkin supposedly found in David Letterman's wastebasket:
No. 10! Show that it's not the economy, stupid.
No. 9! Show that nice arms inspectors finish last.
No. 8! Show that France is no Bulgaria.
No. 7! Show that the UN Security Council is no Donald Rumsfeld.
No. 6! Show that the British public is irrelevant to No. 10 Downing Street.
No. 5! Show that Russia, China, and Germany are irrelevant to Ari Fleischer.
No. 4! Show that Saddam Hussein is not the only one who can get an interview with Dan Rather.
No. 3! Show that the Pentagon needs Turkey like a cowboy needs a bicycle.
No. 2! Show that real men don't need an international court.
No. 1! Show that war is not the last resort.
• Roderick Nordell is a former Monitor editor.