Get Me Rewrite!
Editing candy is something we should have thought of sooner. Now we're reminded that someone has to revise and, presumably, proofread the "Kiss Me" and other messages on those little valentine hearts that melt in your mouth. This year's batch from Necco has been updated with texts like "Awesome" and "Page Me." Fortunately they're not going the route of risque fortune cookies.
Next we'll have custom-made candy hearts for exchange by, say, President Clinton and Speaker Gingrich ("Who Me?"), Hillary Clinton and Eleanor Roosevelt ("Miss You"), Madonna and Argentina ("Don't Cry"), Bob Dole and Madison Avenue ("Whatever"). Name your own pairs for "Cheesehead," "Double Click," "My Tofu," "Macarena Now," "(W)e-mail."