Tuba City

IT all started the other day down at the town tennis courts when a fellow got a post card from a town he used to live in called Paradise. His only comment was that if the real Paradise was anything like the town, he would rather go to the other place. The same fellow complained about a town in Arkansas named Romance. The name seemed to suggest a touch of the adventurous life, but he hadn't been there two hours before a girl slapped his face. Something like that is enough to make a person move to Why, Ariz.

Many towns have simple, honest names, such as Hot Springs and Cold Springs. Do you suppose that at one time all the towns were named Hot Springs because they had some hot springs tucked away in the woods somewhere, but as the hot water ran out, many had to change their name to Cold Springs? Maybe. Maybe not.

I once was in Wawa, Ontario. I remember when I asked a child where I was, I thought I had made her cry.

I never knew anyone, firsthand, who lived in Truth or Consequences, N.M. Superficial research, however, tells me that the inhabitants of Truth or Consequences didn't tell the truth to begin with and so now have to spend the rest of their days in that town suffering the consequences. If I have this wrong, perhaps someone can put me straight.

Tom Bean and Tom Green are two towns in Texas. I presume Tom Bean lives in one and Tom Green in the other. Beyond that I won't venture a comment.

Towns called Moose Jaw or Medicine Hat may have reasonable and valid reasons for acquiring such names, but the name of that town in Wales strikes me as beyond the pale of human tolerance. I, of course, am speaking of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwill- lantysiliogogogoch. I hope whoever suggested that name has been dealt swift justice.

I find I have more and more respect for people who founded towns and simply named them descriptively, such as South Bend, Twin Forks, Black Lake, Fall River -- stuff like that.

Meanwhile, take me back to Bloomer, Wis.