What parents want of teen-agers

Despite the growing respect and affection parents feel for teen-agers, nobody , naturally, is perfect. Here is a collection of grievances from adults who live with, work with, and care about teen-agers:

A lot of kids today aren't doers. They just listen. All they want to do is press a button. Faye Parker, mother of four teen-agers, Boston

For a lot of kids, immediate gratification is all they know. A lot of kids who are living day by day think something's going to come out of a magic hat. They have a fantasy that something is going to work out. That's very unrealistic. Penny Kodrich, school psychologist, Edina, Minn.

Kids want to be treated like adults, and they want the freedom of adults. They haven't yet learned that you've got to take the responsibility of adults. There's a certain amount of freedom, and yet they expect you as a parent to run after all their needs. They have to learn that the house belongs to everyone - that you're going to have to take the responsibility for your own share, and to make life comfortable for the rest of the family. Pauline Arbanella, mother of four, Rockford, Ill.

You can't find an individual. They're all the same, all wearing jeans. A mother, Hopkins, Minn.

I don't know how our culture has made them believe that they need to be entertained - that it's their right to be entertained. I get so angry when I hear a child say, ''I'm bored.'' I think, ''That's not my responsibility. If you're bored you need to do something about it.'' Susan Morrill, mother of three, Hopkins, Minn.

They seem to want to do things younger. I always say our son is 18 going on 24. Lorraine Baumgardner, Minnetonka, Minn.

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