Jim Regan - Site Reviews
'The Gallery Of Obscure Patents' and 'The Wacky Patent of the Month'
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Got that?
That impressively long sentence comes from the abstract for a patent, and this week's offering looks at two sites dedicated to those guarantors of intellectual property and the inventions they describe. Not, however, the kind of breakthroughs usually cited as examples of inventive genius -- no telephones, no light bulbs, no velcro. Rather, these sites pay tribute to the (some would say deservedly) unsung inventions of recent history -- the round chessboards, the budgie diaper and (as described above) the Pneumatic Shoe Lacing Apparatus.
The first of these sites is The Gallery Of Obscure Patents -- part of the IBM Intellectual Property Network, which provides a searchable collection of patents issued by the US Patent office since 1974. When visitors come across an "intriguing" invention during their investigations, they are encouraged to nominate it for inclusion in the Gallery, which now holds about two dozen entries. "Genius" may not be the first word that comes to mind while visiting the Gallery, but one should keep in mind that each inventor, in his or her own odd way, thought they could help make the world a slightly better place. The Gallery's most popular target for improvement seems to be headgear, from the Smoker's Hat, to the Greenhouse Helmet, (essentially an inverted fish bowl that the occupant shares with a few plants, in order to enrich the oxygen supply) to the Hat Simulating Fried Egg, perhaps created by someone nostalgic for the 'this is your brain on drugs' ad.
Inventors more interested in amusement than haberdashery offer the Jet-Powered Surfboard, Fly Swatter with Sound Effects and the Human Slingshot Machine, which promises the thrills of bungee jumping, "...but reduces or eliminates many of the dangers, which include hitting the ground..." More difficult to categorize were such ideas as the Self Containing Enclosure for Protection from Killer Bees, and the Programmable Christmas Tree.
As well as scanned copies of the patents themselves, each entry in the Gallery provides information about the inventor(s), the date and renewal status of the patent, and other patents related to the featured invention. This last feature can give a rough impression of just how 'universal' a problem is, by the number of other people who have tried to solve it. (The Versatile Necktie Tying Aid Gauge has links to 24 other patents, while the Cloaking System Using Optoelectronically Controlled Camouflage --not invented by the Romulans after all- has only five.)
Site two, The Wacky Patent of the Month, doesn't have the corporate backing of IBM behind it, but by virtue of including inventions more than 100 years old, has an even more unusual collection. In addition to the monthly selection, the archives hold more than three years of entries, presented in a multi-frame layout -- preview illustrations cycling on the left, descriptions and links to the inventions on the right.
As with the IBM site, these inventions are less likely to evoke a 'How'd they think of that?' than a 'Why?...' Granted, before the advent of plastic surgery, the use of a Nose Shaper may have seemed a practical course of action. And perhaps the Ambulatory Sleeping Bag is simply ahead of its time. But the pyrotechnic possibilities of the Combination Cigarette Lighter and Perfume Dispenser, and the potential projectile complications of the Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force may leave the visitor wondering if a brain-child can be born an orphan.
However, if ideas such as the Elongated Football inspire the inventor within you, the site also provides details on the patent process, and links to other sources of patent information.
Build a better mousetrap, and the world will beat a path to your door. Build a Pedal Calorificator, and the world will probably cross to the other side of the street. Still, you may get a mention on the Web.
The Gallery Of Obscure Patents is at http://www.patents.ibm.com/gallery. The Wacky Patent of the Month is at http://colitz.com/site/wacky.htm.
Jim Regan provides 'Today's Links' to the e-Monitor. He lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.