Jim Regan - Site Reviews
Badmovies.org
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Badmovies reveals all that the site has to offer on its home page, with an index down the left side of the window, and a few feature reviews front and center -- and reviews are this site's reason for being. With a collection of over 100 reviews of the very worst of film history -- from "Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe", to "Zokorr! The Invader" -- Badmovies offers cult classics, (Plan 9, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Rocky Horror) and more recent accomplishments, (Howard the Duck, Xanadu, Death Race 2000) as well as releases notable for the unfortunate decisions made in the past by today's stars (eg. Denise Richards' starring role in Tammy and the T-Rex).
The format of the reviews is as unique as the genre -- and especially suited to the special requirements of the Bad Movie consumer. After a list of Characters (highlighting any noteworthy stars) and a Plot synopsis, the Badmovies webmaster shares Things I Learned From This Movie with the visitors. Some of these observations will seem fairly obvious, (blind traffic cops don't last long) others may come as revelations, (parakeets are carnivorous) and still others may simply have never crossed the mind before, (a traffic jam made up entirely of Ford Pintos is trouble waiting to happen) but all are clearly indispensable.
Next, Stuff To Watch For chronologically notes some of the films' more 'memorable' events -- from elements that simply irritate the reviewer, (very bad polar bear costumes) to conspicuous problems with continuity. Some reviews also add a few quotable Quotes, (a soldier, after a fellow recruit gets his head blasted off: "MEDIC!" ) and then, since mere words can't properly do justice to the sets, costumes, or even dialogue of these creations, Sound bites, still Images and Video clips are included to allow visitors to more fully appreciate the magnitude of these disasters. (Some reviews, including those for Barbarella and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, will even play a sample of the movie's theme song in the background as you browse. See how long you can endure it.)
Other sections worth visiting are Bad Movie News, which tracks current B-movie developments, (extra! a killer hamster movie is in the works) and Finding a Bad Movie, a selection of tips which will help you come back from the video store with something truly painful. (Look for words like kung fu, massacre or zombie in the title, more adjectives than nouns in the film's description, George Kennedy in the cast, and Ed Wood in the director's chair.)
(A mild warning: as with more mainstream movie reviews, film homepages, and of course, the films themselves, there are times when Badmovies' language and sense of taste 'may not be suitable for all ages'. That said, such transgressions are in the minority, and easily skimmed over -- or in the case of some fake banner ads, scrolled off the screen.) As the title bar states, this is a site dedicated to reviews, and fans more interested in behind the scenes information -- profiles, interviews, and 'untold stories' -- can more deeply investigate the genre at such sites as The Astounding B Monster. But for those who simply wish to enjoy bad movies for their own sake, and insist on nothing but the very worst, Badmovies will be a valuable tool. Badmovies can be found at http://www.badmovies.org/.
Jim Regan provides 'Today's Links' to the e-Monitor. He lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.