Stephen Colbert wants his super PAC back. What if Jon Stewart won't give it to him?
Now that he is no longer running for president of the United States of South Carolina, Stephen Colbert wants his super PAC back. But John Stewart seems to have no plans to return the cash.
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“I urged South Carolinians to vote for me by voting for Herman Cain. And when all the votes were counted, we came in number one ... percent,” said Colbert on his show Monday. “Eat it, others, and statistical anomalies! We made it to integers.”
So Colbert ended his exploration, and asked Stewart to return his super PAC. Stewart refused. A video clip showed the “Daily Show” host flying away in a PAC-financed blimp, cackling.
Colbert has pretended to be distraught ever since.
“I just cannot imagine how scared my money must be right now. Nation, won’t you comfort my money by sending it more of itself?” he said Tuesday.
But we think he’ll get his cash back. We have two reasons: one practical, one comedic.
The practical reason is that future control of the super PAC depends on what its bylaws say. Colbert’s lawyer is Trevor Potter, a former head of the Federal Election Commission, so these by-laws are probably sophisticated. Perhaps the board of directors consists of ... Potter himself! Or something like that. No good lawyer would have let Colbert cede control of all that moolah without building in some way to reel it back.
The comedic reason is that it’s funnier if Colbert gets the money back, eventually, after a struggle that may involve faux zeppelin combat, or perhaps a staged rescue by Navy SEALs.
Colbert’s main satiric point is that candidates really do exert a soft form of control over super PACs. That message would be served by Colbert regaining the super PAC reigns. If Stewart keeps the cash, it will make it look like these things actually have a modicum of independence. Got that?
We await hostage crisis, day four.