A sampling of New Year’s resolutions
Angelina Jolie vows to adopt the Vienna Boys’ Choir, while Barack O’Bama plans to learn more Don Ho songs.
1. Invite a Moose – and a Rotarian – for lunch.
2. Have a moose for lunch.
1. Ask Dick Cheney to move out of the guest bedroom.
2. Look into that school crossing guard job to fill my up afternoons.
1. Adopt the Vienna Boys’ Choir
2. Get a larger size lipstick.
1. Learn the lyrics for “Kumbaya”
2. Tell Biden, “I’ll move out when I’m good and ready.”
1. Demand a recount.
2. Try to sell “drill, baby, drill” mantra to the Dental Association.
1. Get a dog that’s bigger than the Biden’s.
2. Learn more Don Ho songs.
1. Allow only reporters with shoes that are Size 5 or smaller into press conferences.
2. Take the karaoke machine back to Texas.