Stuff you don't need
As a longtime vegetarian, I'm occasionally inconvenienced. Sometimes I'll have to take an extra moment in the shopping aisle to read the ingredients. Sometimes I'll be at a restaurant that doesn't have any veggie entrées so I have to order two appetizers. And every once in a while I'll have to deal with half-baked epistemic inquiries ("How do you really know that carrots don't have feelings too?"). Other than these things, though, I haven't been missing out on much.
Or so I thought. It turns out that all these years I've been unknowingly excluding myself from an important Thanksgiving tradition, namely, the postprandial snapping of the deceased bird's wishbone. My failure to participate could very well could be the reason that all my wishes haven't come true yet.
But now there's the Lucky Break Wishbone. Made entirely of plastic, this faux furcula allows you simulate the ritual fracturing of real bone, but without any of the bad karma.
Here's how it works:
1) After your Tofurkey meal has concluded, open the packaging of the plastic wishbone.
2) Discard the packaging.
3) Grasp one end of the plastic wishbone while a friend or family member grasps the other end.
4) Make a wish.
5) Break the plastic wishbone.
6) Discard the plastic wishbone.
The company's website claims that over a million of these things have been sold.