4 reasons the 'mommy wars' are good for parenting in America

The “mommy wars” – the so-called conflict between moms (or parenting philosophies) over topics related to motherhood – are a constant cultural undercurrent. While many call for a ceasefire, the mommy wars constitute a valuable social, political, and cultural dialogue. Here are four reasons why the mommy wars are good for America.

4. A better way might emerge

It’s possible that a “right” – or at least better – way to tackle the issues of motherhood will emerge from the debate.

Perhaps there are “right answers” to these questions about whether to breastfeed, use Pinterest, or stay at home. Or at the very least, maybe there is a better way to think about them or handle the accompanying decisions – both for the benefit of individual mothers and for society as a whole.

But that better way will only emerge if we keep debating, if we keep talking, differing, and sharing our views.

Of course, the language of “war” is overblown. It, too, is a reflection of America’s larger “culture wars,” and all the other hyperbolic “wars” we are waging. The terms of our discourse about motherhood, as in all things, should aim to be more civilized, less incendiary, more constructive and cooperative. But that doesn’t mean the discourse – the disagreement – should stop.

Mothers should not be afraid to dig into the trenches, fire the first shot, and fight on. In other words, inform yourself, take a position, and defend it. But do it kindly and constructively, like a good mom.

Jill Abraham Hummer is an assistant professor of political science and women’s studies at Wilson College, in Chambersburg, Penn. She is also mom to a 3-year-old and 7-month-old.

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Dear Reader,

About a year ago, I happened upon this statement about the Monitor in the Harvard Business Review – under the charming heading of “do things that don’t interest you”:

“Many things that end up” being meaningful, writes social scientist Joseph Grenny, “have come from conference workshops, articles, or online videos that began as a chore and ended with an insight. My work in Kenya, for example, was heavily influenced by a Christian Science Monitor article I had forced myself to read 10 years earlier. Sometimes, we call things ‘boring’ simply because they lie outside the box we are currently in.”

If you were to come up with a punchline to a joke about the Monitor, that would probably be it. We’re seen as being global, fair, insightful, and perhaps a bit too earnest. We’re the bran muffin of journalism.

But you know what? We change lives. And I’m going to argue that we change lives precisely because we force open that too-small box that most human beings think they live in.

The Monitor is a peculiar little publication that’s hard for the world to figure out. We’re run by a church, but we’re not only for church members and we’re not about converting people. We’re known as being fair even as the world becomes as polarized as at any time since the newspaper’s founding in 1908.

We have a mission beyond circulation, we want to bridge divides. We’re about kicking down the door of thought everywhere and saying, “You are bigger and more capable than you realize. And we can prove it.”

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