Mama Grizzly mating habits: The WikiLeaks cable you won't see
How might the ambassador of a small foreign embassy in Washington characterize Sarah Palin or President Obama? Columnist John Hughes imagines...
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Why the turnaround? Perhaps he got a stern talking-to from Michelle Obama (“FLOTUS”), whose popularity rating is higher than the president’s and who might on a bad day ponder whether she could do the job better.Skip to next paragraph
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Actually, most US senators of either political party think they could do a better job as president. Some Americans think George Clooney, or Angelina Jolie could handle it. Even CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer would be fine, seeing as Walter Cronkite was once touted for the presidency. Although “President Blitzer” might fly, it’s difficult to imagine a US president named “Wolf.”
Mama Grizzly misunderstanding
On the Republican side, you asked for an appraisal of Sarah Palin. Unfortunately, we are behind on that due to a misunderstanding by the junior officer assigned to the project. (I think I mentioned the staffing problems we are facing due to a slender embassy budget.) Researching Ms. Palin’s call for more “Mama Grizzlies,” the officer wasted several weeks investigating the mating habits of female grizzly bears before learning that Palin was talking about feisty Republican women.
I also want to respond to your very intriguing proposal that we replace Bo, the White House dog, with a look-alike dog embedded with a listening device. This might be very productive. But I regret we cannot attempt it because we must husband our slender budget resources for the next presidential campaign in 2012.
It is amazing how incomprehensible is this American democratic system that turns out so well. Instead of a campaign that lasts three or four weeks, it goes on here for a couple of years.
The midterm elections cost $4 billion and the last presidential campaign, $5 billion. Individual states hold scattered primary elections, and a presidential candidate who wins the popular vote may still not win the White House. Yet there is no threat of a military coup, and during the polling, the Army is not even restricted to its barracks.
In conclusion, did I mention that a substantial increase in our embassy budget would enable us to do more comprehensive reporting?
– Ambassador XXXXXXXXX [deleted for security reasons]