Etc.

from the January 2, 2009 edition

Well, that didn't take long

Spectator sports wouldn't be the phenomena they are without records. Especially those that may never be broken. Take baseball legend Joe DiMaggio's feat of hitting safely in 56 consecutive games, for instance. Or the time in March 1962 that Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a single National Basketball Association game. The record that David Pratt now holds may not belong in the same discussion with those, but it's difficult to imagine anyone else eclipsing it. Who's David Pratt? He's a midfielder for the Chippenham Bluebirds of the British Gas Football (soccer) League. And two days after Christmas, against the rival Bashley Bash, he launched himself at an opposing player who was about to kick the ball, made contact with the latter's leg, and was immediately ejected by the referee. How is that record-setting? Because it happened just three seconds after the game had begun. The fastest previous ejection: 10 seconds, in a 1990 Italian league game. Now, consider the implications. Pratt's dismissal meant that Chippenham had to play the remaining 89 minutes and 57 seconds of the game one man short. Bashley, one of the weakest teams in the league, won, 2-1. Pratt has taken his punishment, which includes a three-game suspension, hard. "I'm not proud of it," he told reporters afterward. "If anyone has watched me, they would know I'm not a thug. I ... would never deliberately hurt anyone."