Top 10 ways to know when the economy is really bad

Your neighbor starts to grow corn for ethanol and service stations sell gas by the pint.

10. The White House trades in the presidential limo for a Toyota Prius.

9. You climb into your car, but then decide, "Shucks, it's only five miles. I'll walk."

8. Home heating oil gets so expensive that Al Gore moves into a one-bath bungalow.

7. Your neighbor digs up his backyard to grow corn to make ethanol.

6. Food costs so much that news reports start talking about underweight Americans.

5. The president of ExxonMobil starts commuting to work on a Segway.

4. Your favorite "half-gallon" containers of ice cream shrink to 1.5 quarts. (Oops, that already happened!)

3. US taxi companies replace their cars with pedicabs.

2. Congress votes to pay itself in zlotys.

1. Service stations start selling gas by the pint.

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(Mary Knox Merrill/Staff)
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