A head scarf is not just a scarf

The dispute in Turkey reminds us of the importance of allowing 'others' emotional depth.

from the February 25, 2008 edition

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The good news is that we have many models of how this could look, thanks to the burgeoning field of emotional intelligence – first brought to the public's attention by Daniel Goleman's 1995 book of the same name. Emotional intelligence, defined by the capacity to identify and manage emotions within the self and in others, has rocked the way clinicians, educators, CEOs, and even politicians understand human relationships.

So much research and writing has been done on the benefits of imbuing social and emotional learning in our schools – led by pioneers such as Mr. Goleman, Robin Stern, Janet Patti, and Selena Sermeno. They have created a blueprint of how to raise more emotionally intelligent students – future citizens.

Significantly, studies show it is not just beneficial for the children themselves. For the safety of our communities and the security of pluralism in this increasingly globalized world it is vital we share this with our youth. Consider organizations like Seeds of Peace, the summer camp in Maine that serves as a humanizer for teenagers from different sides of conflicts in the Middle East.

If dehumanization is the scourge of our time, emotional awareness, it turns out, is the salve. How could a Kibaki supporter beat an Odinga supporter in Kenya if he knew the passions behind the political difference? How could an Israeli soldier or a Palestinian teenager cause harm to each other if they are aware of the deeply emotional motivations of the other to defend country, family, faith? How could a soldier rape a civilian girl, if he empathized with her fear, confusion, tenderness?

We will not, ultimately, be protected by laws or bombs. We will only be protected by the continued fight against dehumanization in all its myriad forms, and the renewed effort to focus on developing emotional awareness and empathy in our children and in ourselves. A flag is not just a flag. A scarf is not just a scarf. And a human heart, well it is most certainly not just an organ. It is our fiercest weapon against annihilation, and our most inspired ally toward creating a more peaceful world.

Courtney E. Martin is the author of "Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters" and a blogger at feministing.com.

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