Season's greetings cause grimaces when they're not personal enough

A technical writer friend of mine comments, "When someone just sends a card with a signature I always want more ... but not TOO much more! I want at least a line of news about the sender."

My grandfather, a prolific letter writer – his updated "Letters of E.B. White" goes into paperback this month – managed a personalized, printed card in 1950 with his own verse and a drawing of his dachshund puppy descending steep stairs – a feat that occasionally resulted in a nose dive.

For the less poetic among us, how do we hit the right balance of pithy holiday cheer and annual wrap-up? Too often, the result is a laundry list of highlights instead of a heartfelt letter.

Take a tip from the technical writer: "My favorite greetings are brief and humorous. One friend usually takes one little incident from her year and writes about it with wit and grace. These snippets are so engaging I often read them several times. Another letter we look forward to is from a family of four whose brief letter often reveals each person's current favorite movie or book."

Adding creative spark to a charmed life also helps. Dan Bookham, development coordinator for a coastal Maine nonprofit, receives greetings from friends overseas: "[They] have the most wonderful A.A. Milne life. They live in an old vicarage with ample gardens in a small English village.... The annual letter is more in the spirit of Chekhov than the 100 Acre Wood, however. 'The cat died half way through its worming. They inadvertently introduced the Irish potato blight to the whole village, leading to old Mrs. Miggins almost expiring due to famine.... Their trip to Morocco was ruined by a sirocco....' It is as if Eeyore could write."

When December is packed with the children's holiday recitals, the church bazaar, and extended family visits, who has leisure to pen personal letters? Maybe it's just a matter of timing.

A Camden, Maine, family, having lived in many other parts of the world, suggests: "As for us, we avoid sending cards to distant friends during the holidays. We send them when we imagine people's mailboxes are feeling a bit hungry – say in March or October. This gives people a lift (we hope!) when they least expect it, and it takes some of the frenzy out of our holiday season."

For those who merit the gift of your time, consider making letter writing the gift that keeps on giving. Assemble a correspondence kit for loved ones far away. Include a new address book, address labels, personalized photo stamps, postcards to be watercolored or monogrammed stationery, assortments of greeting cards from UNICEF, new fountain pens and colored inks, or even sealing wax. Add a book of letters, for a little inspiration. Consider the letters of great artists or writers or historical figures. Dorie McCullough Lawson's book, "Posterity – Letters of Great Americans to Their Children" has examples from first lady Abigail Adams to illustrator N.C. Wyeth.

Then put on the Christmas carols, pour yourself an eggnog, open your desk and your heart, and give yourself a moment of solitude to pen your holiday greetings. Replace the emptiness of junk mail or the impersonality of e-cards with the gratifying connection of a written conversation, and you will feel yourself in the good company of the recipients.

Imagine the anticipatory frisson that comes when your loved ones see your handwriting on an envelope in their mailbox. As Voltaire remarked, "The post is the consolation of life."

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