Domestic violence survivors move out of abusive relationships and into school
A Boston-area initiative helps women gain the skills they need to become financially self-reliant and free from their abusers.
from the October 18, 2007 edition
Page 3 of 3
Ms. Miller meets with them and calls to check in, especially when midterms or finals are approaching. "We're working hard to keep them engaged," she says. But she's seen Susan and some others become very independent: "I was delighted when [Susan] came in at the beginning of this academic year to let me know that she had, on her own, solved a tricky scheduling problem."
Susan, a high school graduate, took one course at a time last year, but she gained enough confidence to take on two courses this semester – college-level English and algebra. Still working 30 hours a week, she sometimes fits in homework while she's cooking dinner. The monthly meetings with other students from HarborCOV help keep her going. "This one woman last year ... she had her baby and she was back in class the next week," she says. "I was like, 'That's incredible! If she can do it, you definitely can do it.' "
Education help from the Sunshine Lady
The Sunshine Lady Foundation in Wilmington, N.C., has helped more than 1,600 survivors of domestic violence pursue their educational goals – whether it's a bachelor's degree or a cosmetology license.
Philanthropist Doris Buffett's foundation launched the Women's Independence Scholarship Program in 1999, after a domestic-violence conference opened her eyes to how crucial education was to women's efforts to support themselves and not return to abusive relationships.
"Once we take away that pressure of 'I can't pay my child care' or 'I'm driving a junker and don't know if I'll get to work next week' ... that really frees them up to focus on school, to get those skills that they need to move ahead with their life," says Nancy Soward, director of the scholarship program.
Applicants, referred by advocacy groups from all over the United States, receive an average of $2,000 per school term. The foundation tries to continue the support until they reach their goal.
"It was really a godsend that this foundation chose me and gave me the opportunity to make my life completely different," says Renée, who asked that her last name not be used. She lived through years of misery before she finally fled her husband when he tried to kill her, she says, and then she moved more than a dozen times for her safety.
Physical ailments kept her from her work in landscaping and design, and she wanted to pursue a master's degree so she could teach. To her surprise, the foundation supported her for three years, even though she changed programs partway through.
"They really believed in me and they stuck with me when I was going through a lot of hard times and really figuring this out," Renée says. Because of the psychological aspect of abuse, "you lose faith in yourself.... Every quarter I wrote a letter to the Sunshine Lady [Ms. Buffett] telling her how I was doing and I could never express enough thanks to her for being someone that knew all about me and yet had complete faith in me."
Renée worked hard to make the most of the gift, earning a 4.0 grade point average, she says. But she also applied her work ethic to healing her emotions.
"If you stay fearful the rest of your life, then in my book, the abuser is still winning," she says. "The ultimate freedom is to completely take charge of your life and move in another direction."
Now the foundation is training its eye on the generational aspects of abuse and helping scholarship alumni fund their children's education through the Change Your World Scholarship. "The kids are also survivors," Ms. Soward says.
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