Young Egyptian couples in a hurry tie temporary knot

Concern grows over use of a secret, unrecognized 'urfi' marriage that many couples feel allows them to be alone and to engage in sexual activity.

from the September 20, 2007 edition

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True urfi marriage essentially means common-law marriage, says Negm, and has a positive connotation. While unofficiated, the marriage involves witnesses, has the consent of a male guardian of the virgin bride, or is publicly declared to meet Islamic standards.

Unlike the Shiite Muslim tradition of temporary muta marriage, which includes a specific end-date for the marriage, Sunni Islam does not have a "temporary marriage" tradition.

Some 3 million urfi marriages are registered with the notary public, although officials said they suspect the real number may be three times that, according to statistics provided by the notary public to local Egyptian media. The notary public would not give such statistics to an American newspaper.

Registering an urfi marriage with the notary public still maintains its secrecy from the couple's family. Some couples register to add a veneer of legitimacy to their relationship or from a mistaken belief that it gives the woman some rights should they be "divorced."

The number of urfi marriages annually was not available from the notary public to determine if it is increasing since it became more popular in the mid-1990s. But the number of traditional marriages has declined overall, from 592,000 in 2000 to 506,000 in 2006, despite a youth population bubble, according to the Central Agency for Public Mobilization and Statistics.

A 2004 study by Cairo University and the National Population Council found that about a third of women expected to marry above what they would consider the typical age of marriage, 21. A third of men expected to marry later than what they view as the average age of 28. But the study questioned how widespread the development really was.

In the meantime, the fallout from urfi has started to show up more publicly. A woman discovered to have had premarital sex is generally considered unmarriable. The enormous shame means she faces punishment from her family and ostracization from society.

Dawlat Ahmed, a lawyer at the National Council for Women, provides legal advice to women, and her office hosts a hot line. Ms. Ahmed says it's not common for a woman to go to court. But paternity suits from urfi marriages, with the help of DNA testing, are showing up in court dockets despite the intense social stigma placed on women known to have had sex or a child outside of traditional wedlock. If the woman wins, the child has inheritance rights, and, more important, takes the father's name. "They are afraid of her family or his family," says Ahmed. "But if she has a big problem or a child, she has to go to the court, though mainly it's secret."

Local newspaper advice columns are full of letters from young people, like Khalid and Amira, in trouble because of an urfi marriage. The two were embarrassed after being caught kissing in the places many young people in Cairo go to be alone together – secluded public parks, empty Cairo Transportation Authority buses, and movie theaters. Khalid, who asked that their real names not be used, said he thought a secret urfi marriage would make the affair less unseemly. It didn't. After a few months, he says, "I felt very fed up and sick from doing this" and ended it. She later claimed he impregnated her.

"I didn't believe she was pregnant and even if she is, I can't believe it is my baby," he says, quietly sipping Fairouz soda. They haven't been in contact since. It took him two and a half years to find a job after college. His $150 monthly salary as an accountant isn't enough to support a family. He figures it will take about 10 years, when he's 35, to save enough to get properly married.

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